As a senior in high school, college, to me, was basically one big blob of cliches. In my head (I would practically swoon at the thought of it), I would picture myself on a, particularly romantic day. I’d meet the love of my life after making eye contact across a leafy, green quad. I would also go to my first house party, completely blown away at the sight of a sea of red solo cups in front of me. It’s not that college isn’t these things. It’s that it’s more. It makes you think. It’s made me come to conclusions and realizations.
Here are some things that I’ve learned after the first half of my first semester:
You’ll Feel Defeated.
Â
School is hard. You know that. I know that. My friends know that (I’ve definitely complained enough times). This is supposed to be the easy stuff. We’re told that our freshmen GPA is supposed to cushion our future senioritis.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt defeated and not even by circumstances, but by myself. I’ve felt like an overwhelmingly lost cause. I’ll feel as if those around me don’t even think I’m trying. Want to know the weirdest part of it all? Sometimes, I don’t even know if I am. But in the wise words of Lenny Kravitz, “It ain’t over till it’s over.” We just have to do what we do best. We’ll take a deep breath, pull our hair back, and get stuff done.
Love is just freaking weird.
This might just be me, because (being in real) love is a completely foreign concept. I’ve just come to realize that love, relationships, and even just this idea of “like” is a lot more complicated than I originally thought. Not only that, it’s a lot more apparent. After being here on campus, you begin to notice that there are so many couples. There are so many people holding hands. There are so many teenagers randomly touching each other’s faces in dark corners in Panera (I’m speaking from a real experience). Worst of all, you see couples riding on motorized, razor scooters together. Honestly, I just don’t want to get hurt. The probability of that seems awfully high here. It’s messy and complicated. Isn’t it weird that we can like someone, or even love them, and it’s warm and special but then we can go our separate ways? What’s even more unbelievable is that later on, we can feel the same thing for another person. I hate that. I hate that while I might be feeling all lovey-dovey for another, basically the whole human population over the age of the sixteen can say been there felt that. I guess love can be full of pretty pinks, reds, and whites. However, as of right now, it’s mostly gray. Basically, it’s safe to say that it’s one massive, deadly gray area.
Your life is not a movie. It’s better.
I was the type of kid who wandered around the recess grounds randomly singing (It might have been possible that I thought I was living in a musical). I was the type of middle schooler who would wonder if the guy she awkwardly made eye contact with was her soul mate. I know that life isn’t a fairy tale. I know that it’s not a teen fiction story. It’s true that not everything falls into place, but that doesn’t take away from little moments. Those somehow are quirkier than anything any author could have written. It’s just funny because there have been times where I’ve been caught up in the averageness of my life, but honestly, right now, it feels like finally, I’m the main character in my own story.
Guys, just remember, college is amazing, but it’s also what you make it. It can be chilly football games where you get lucky enough to sit next to your crush. It can be walking home, at nine at night, trying insanely hard not to scream after bombing a test. It can be deep talks with your roommate where instead of sleeping, you’re laughing until you’re crying. It can be running into a professor who reminds you of your favorite, English teacher back home. College can be cheesy. College can be stressful. College can be surprising and exciting in new ways. I mean it’s not perfect, but at least it’s grounds for new opportunities. I say we take advantage of it.Â