I am not going to write you a pitiful story about my life thus far. I don’t want you to feel bad for
me. Instead, I want you to think, “Why did you care?” This is a question I ask myself almost
everyday when I wake up. Why did I care about what other people thought about me in the past?
Why should I still care? Growing up I was a big people pleaser. I never wanted to disappoint
people and always went out of my way to focus on others before myself. This would lead me to
become a very sensitive person and get very upset with myself when someone got angry. It got to
the point where people would bully me over it because they knew I wouldn’t get upset with them
if they did it. I was never one to get angry or say stop or no. This attitude of not wanting to say
no or show negative emotions led me to develop major anxiety and depression in middle school.
It took me more than 10 years to finally develop the mentality that I should stop giving a %@#$
about what people think. It can be hard but I’m here to guide you through how I finally evolved.
How did it happeN?
It took until the spring semester of 2021 to fully develop this mentality. What event
sparked this? Dropping my sorority. I let people take advantage of my kindness and inability to
say no and it led me to be very unhappy with where I was. My friends noticed and finally it took
one person to say, “Why do you care what they think about you?” And they were so right for
asking that. I cared because I was trying too hard to be friends with people who didn’t like me.
It’s a hard pill to swallow.
Not everyone is going to like you. It’s the hard truth, but people need to understand that. It’s ok
to be a people pleaser, but don’t let people walk all over you. Don’t let people take advantage of
you. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. When I finally took it upon myself to drop my sorority
house, people began to avoid me, and it hurt. However, it really showed me who cared and didn’t
care about me. It narrowed down my list to see people who were trying to form a relationship
with me and those who were not.
“NO” is the hardest word to say.
It’s a small word, but the hardest word for people to say, in my opinion. We don’t want to upset
people, and saying “no” has a negative connotation… but also a positive connotation. If you
have a hard time saying no then you can put yourself into situations you don’t want to be in.
Let’s say a friend wants you to drink with them. If you can’t say no, you could set yourself up for
a risky situation. To save yourself, and put yourself first, the best thing you can say is “no.”
Think, what’s the worst thing that will happen when I say “no.” If the answer is, “they won’t be
my friends anymore,” then they aren’t worth your time. You shouldn’t be afraid to say such a
small word.
Learning how to stop giving a #%@$ about what people think about you can be very
challenging. Trust me… I know. Not being able to say no has put me in situations that have hurt
me mentally, leading me to develop anxiety and depression. If someone is going to stop a
relationship with you because you say “no” then they are not your friend and should not be part
of your life. When you start not caring about what others think and start saying “no”, you will
begin to see who likes you and who doesn’t like you. It’s the hard truth… learn it. Understand it.
And live with it.