Finally, the holiday season is making its way around! This means Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas decorations and a break from school. It’s the best time of the year, right? Actually, the holidays are the biggest time of the year for breaks ups…Yikes! To prepare you for the upcoming breakup-season, here are six ways to take care of a friend after a breakup.
1. Listen
The most important thing you can do for a friend is listen. She’s going to have a combination of emotions, such as sadness, anger or confusion and it’s important that she knows you’re there for her. It may be a little tedious, but think back to a time when you were in her position. You probably had someone there to listen to you and wipe away tears, but if you didn’t, I’m sure you wished you did. Be there for her, and she will be there for you.
2. Reassure her that her feelings are valid
In addition to listening to your friend talk about her feelings, make her feelings feel significant. Try your best to avoid telling her how to feel, like saying “stay positive.” Even if you only mean the best, this may make her feel like she’s not allowed to grieve the relationship in her own way. Saying those things may also seem like you’re lecturing her. Another common thing people like to do when people are upset is to tell personal stories. This is a big no-no! Even though you’re trying to relate to her and tell her you know the feeling, it may come across like you’re trying to make the situation about you. Let your friend have the limelight right now, and if she wants to talk about past stories, she will bring it up
3. Ask what you can do for her
Sometimes what we think is best for our friends isn’t always the case. She may not be ready to have a night on the town and would prefer a night in watching sappy love movies. On the other hand, romantic comedies might make her feel worse. If you’re not sure what to do, ask her.
4. Reach out
When you have to take a break from listening to your friend, make sure to contact her every once in a while. She would definitely appreciate a text or call to know you’re thinking about her. If you really want to go above and beyond, buy her a bag of her favorite candy or make her a breakup survival kit.
5. Spend time together
There’s nothing worse than spending time alone after a break up. See if your friend would want to have a sleep over or go out to a movie together. Breakups can have a negative effect on friendships, so it’s important that you spend time together. This will also let her know that you are there for her through thick and thin.
6. Start a new hobby with her
Sometimes after a breakup it’s easy to turn to unhealthy habits. To take her mind off of her ex, start something new with her, like a workout routine. Not only will you be spending more time with her, but doing something new and getting her out of her old sitting-on-the-couch-eating-ice-cream routine will be beneficial.