Since middle school and all through high school, I had what I called the “perfect period.” My period came consistently, and I didn’t experience cramps, tender breasts, period acne, or mood swings. I had heard many period horror stories or listened to my friends talk about their symptoms, but never thought that my period would ever affect me more than just having to wear a pad or tampon. However, once I got college, things started to progressively change. It started with period acne, which I quickly accepted. Then, I started getting cramps the first and second day of my period. Sometimes the pain would be a bit excruciating, and I would have to lay down or make sure I was taking ibuprofen every 6 hours, but I was usually able to fight through it. About 4 months ago, my newest symptoms crept up on me. I began to experience sadness and mood swings on the first couple days of my period.
At first, I thought I could attribute the significant sadness to doing long distance with my boyfriend over the summer. Of course, I missed him a lot, but it didn’t make sense that my mood would put such a damper on our relationship. My other relationships suffered as well. I would get so sad that I wouldn’t have the energy to socialize with my friends or I would get frustrated with my family very quickly.
When I began to feel sadness, it felt like I couldn’t stop fixating on what I was feeling. I was confused because I felt like I had so many things to be grateful for, but I would let my mind spiral until I found the most uncertain thing to be unhappy about. I would pose questions in my head like: “What if my boyfriend and I don’t work out? What if I don’t do well in my classes this semester? What if I peak in college? Do I even know who I am?” I would worry about things that I had no control over. My mind began to live in the future, rather than enjoying the present. This mindset would send me into a perpetual state of anxiety and worry about all the things that could go wrong in my life.
Month to month, I started to see a pattern of my sadness and mood swings. So, I started to track my symptoms in my period tracking app. This was a great first step in my pursuit to gain control of my emotions. I started doing research on hormonal changes during the menstruation cycle. It was reassuring to find that this is a normal thing for many women and that my body is only taking its natural course. As I became more comfortable with my symptoms, I spoke more openly about them with my boyfriend, close friends, and family. Having these important people aware of what I was going through allowed me to put together an action plan with them for when I begin to feel my mood shift. This only helped me to feel even more supported in what I was going through.
I don’t know how longer my period will significantly affect my mood. This could be permanent or just for a period of my life. However, I cannot dwell on how I have I suffered in the past or what things will be like in the future. I must remember that my mental health is stronger than having a couple of bad days out of every month. Even on my toughest days (like last week when I couldn’t stop crying cause I was sad, and I didn’t know why I was even sad) I remain grateful for my body and just how powerful it is to do what it does every month. If you experience the same symptoms as I do, remember: (1) There is nothing wrong with you, this is completely normal. (2) Be patient with yourself. You can’t control your body and your hormones, so let them take their natural course. (3) Lean on your support group for comfort. Comfort is the number one thing that you need right now. I promise that a hug really does make all the difference.