“You should choose a lazy person to do a hard job because they will find an easier way to do it.“
– Unknown, but maybe Bill Gates?
Have you ever heard this quote? If the job is thrifting, I’m the lazy person to go to.
A thrift store is like the ocean: 95% of it remains unexplored; there are pearls hidden in the deepest aisles, but mostly, it’s a cesspool filled with endless floating garbage. My glory days of diving through the depths to discover new life are over—these days, I’m all about efficiency.
At the risk of sounding like a pretentious hipster, I need to establish some credibility on the subject of thrifting. First, I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, long before the days of Emma Chamberlain‘s thrift hauls. My prized possessions are all second-hand pieces I’ve owned for years. I get excited about quality fabrics—real denim, cashmere and leather—the kind of stuff that never goes out of style and built to last a lifetime in your closet. Anyone who loves vintage knows that they don’t make clothes like they used to.
The popularity of thrifting has exploded in recent years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that it went mainstream; the more people buying sustainably the better! But the increased demand (and worse, the resellers) have changed the market. Prices have surged as thrift stores around the world rake in higher profits. Not to mention, shifts in buyer behaviour have changed what’s on the rack. Fast fashion titans like H&M, Zara and SHEIN are driving overconsumption at unprecedented levels. As the trend cycle speeds up, piles of low-quality clothes get discarded and end up at thrift stores.
All this to say that thrifting has gotten harder. Or maybe I’ve gotten weaker, older, and more impatient…? Either way, this is my best advice to lazy-fy your thrift game.
1. Understand Your Closet
It’s exhausting to peruse the entire store for something that catches your eye. If you want to save time, you have to know what you’re looking for. Before you even step foot in the store, figure out what colours, patterns, and fabrics work with what you already own. You can also take note of what basics are missing from your wardrobe to further narrow down your search.
When you shop, quickly scan each rack and only touch pieces that fit your criteria. This isn’t to say you can’t pick out a funky accent piece here and there. After all, variety is the spice of life! But most of what’s on the rack won’t last two years in your closet (let alone ten) and thrifting is all about outliving your clothes. Planning helps you pick things you’ll wear again and again and again.
2. Hit the Return Rack
Dressing rooms are the place where you go to try on the stuff you want to take home. Some of your favourite items won’t fit and you’ll regretfully place them on the rack to be reshelved. Frequent thrift shoppers understand the pain of leaving behind that special piece that you loved on the hanger, but just didn’t fit right. The return rack is basically a curated selection of clothes that people deemed cool enough to almost buy.
Of course, the clothes won’t be sorted by size or category like rest of the store, so you have to do some eye-balling and label-checking yourself. But the return rack is still my last stop before heading home—I’ve found some real gems there!
3. Follow Somebody Hot Around the Store
It’s a scientific fact that hot people have the best luck thrifting. Do they make great clothes appear out of thin air? Are they hot BECAUSE they’re really good at thrifting? For whatever reason, hot people are magnets for hot clothes.
Of course, “hot” is subjective. I usually look for the person wearing a pair of Doc Martens or a gorgeous wool coat. You can decide what style is attractive to you and choose your hot thrifter accordingly. When you see that person (who looks like they walked out of your Pinterest inspiration board), discreetly follow them as they move through the aisles. They might lead you to a secret stash of goodies or an aisle you wouldn’t even think to check. If they pick something up, deliberate, and put it back, you should swoop in to check it out. Hot people don’t even get near ugly clothes—they have a sixth sense or something!
4. Visit the Forbidden Sections
I find the women’s section is always a mess. It’s by far the largest in the store and the main attraction for customers. I dread joining the flock of shoppers digging through the racks to compete for the best finds. Do you remember that scene with all the seagulls in Finding Nemo? That’s what the women’s section turns into when somebody unearths a really good item. Meanwhile, the other sections of the store are like a quiet, peaceful oasis away from the chaos.
“Men’s” jeans, sweaters, shirts, and coats can actually be worn by anybody and take way less energy to sort through. If you’re a petite body, you can check the largest sizes in the older kid’s aisle. It’s also good practice to try to shop for the opposite season. You’ll find a better selection of shorts in December when nobody else is looking. Be the architect of your own destiny and don’t let a sign on the wall tell you where you belong in the store.
5. Stop Going To The Thrift Store
You know thrift stores aren’t the only place to buy second-hand, right? I give Facebook Marketplace so much traffic, Mark Zuckerberg should send me a handwritten thank-you card. There’s also eBay, Kijiji, Depop, Vinted, Poshmark, and so many other platforms. It’s way easier to set size, category and price filters online than in real life. Join a buy/sell Facebook group in your city and watch for people posting their closet clean outs. Don’t forget, there’s still plenty of vintage to be appreciated at the good old fashioned yard sale, too.
If you’re doing a closet cleanout yourself, consider organizing a clothing swap with friends. Everybody can bring the item(s) they’re ready to let go of and take home something new and exciting instead—one thrifter’s trash is another thrifter’s treasure! I find all the options I’ve listed here to be far less overwhelming and time consuming than traditional thrifting. I guess my last word of advice is to skip going to stores all together; you can find tons of great hand-me-downs elsewhere!
