Decoding the FOMO Paradox

Fear of missing out. 

This pervasive phenomenon has weaved its way into the lives of many, especially those in their twenties, casting a shadow over the decade of discovery. Characterized by the anxiety that we might be missing out on exciting experiences or opportunities, the FOMO paradox is in perfect alignment with the digital age — the more we see, the more we fear missing out. It forms a constant desire not only to be in the loop but also to experience the same curated glimpse of others’ lives that we see on social media. That being said, FOMO is also caused by the basic human need for social connection and acceptance.

To understand what it truly means to fear missing out on something, we first must understand the very meaning of fear: the distressing emotion of impending doom that recognizes a danger or a threat. In the context of FOMO, we should then ask ourselves, what might be the threat associated with missing out?

As humans, we have past experiences that are capable of subconsciously forming our future understanding of social situations. For me, social validation is a big part of FOMO. The threat, in my case, is fueled by the need to be part of significant experiences that reinforce my sense of belonging and acceptance. It all comes together as part of one’s individual identity that is constructed in the context of our social circles. 

I decided to write this article just before my therapy session earlier today in which I went on to discuss FOMO and its relation to control and jealousy. Control is an interesting concept. Every person harbours their own nuanced definition of the word, since each interpretation is shaped by personal experiences and the ever-evolving landscape of our lives. 

FOMO, I realized, is not just a passing anxiety, but a symptom of a deeper concern rooted in the idea of control. Rather, it’s a notion that extends beyond my physical existence at any social event; it touches on the fundamental fear of losing control over the trajectory of my life. Control, or lack thereof, is my personal perceived threat that is the driving force behind my FOMO. This fear is not irrational; it’s deeply intertwined with my desire for social acceptance.

Control, in my context, manifests as a mechanism for maintaining a semblance of order and predictability. The fear of missing out becomes a lens through which I view potential disruptions to this delicate balance of control. Jealousy, too, enters the equation as a complex emotion that stems from the fear of others gaining experiences which I believe contribute to my sense of control and stability. 

Understanding this connection between FOMO, control, and jealousy is now a crucial step in my journey towards self-awareness and emotional well-being; inviting me to explore the internal dynamics at play. The journey toward emotional well-being isn’t about hastily discarding emotions regarded as irrelevant by external standards. Instead, it involves delving into the complexities of our feelings, understanding their origins, and uncovering the stories they tell about our inner worlds. Suppressing one’s feelings can create a situation where unaddressed emotions simmer beneath the surface, leading to strain on mental health. While gratitude practices are valuable and can contribute to a positive mindset, they should not be wielded as a tool for suppressing genuine emotions. Acknowledging and fully experiencing emotions, including fear, jealousy, and anxiety associated with FOMO, is a necessary aspect of emotional authenticity; a process of sitting with discomfort. 

As cliche as it may sound, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s part of a process that helps us to grow. It teaches us valuable lessons about ourselves and fosters empathy for those around us. Chasing experiences, especially in the famous decade of discovery, is not a hindrance. It is an integral part of the transformative human experience which shapes us all. 

• #reflection
• #relationships
• anxiety
• fomo
• healthy social media
• mental health