Photo By Willow David
For some reason, February 14 has become this huge epidemic—it is either one of the most exciting days of the year, or the most dreaded day of the year. For me, it’s kind of both. Well, actually, that’s not true. I am a hater of Valentine’s Day. I don’t like the expectation of the day and all the pressure that comes with it. Suddenly because it’s this statutory holiday, you’re supposed to shower your lady with flowers, chocolate and jewellery. I completely disagree with that for a couple of reasons. First, you shouldn’t pick ONE day a year to spoil your partner or show them how much you love them. I’m not saying you should be buying her a diamond bracelet and a bouquet of red roses every day, but you shouldn’t need it to be February 14 to do something romantic. You should do something romantic just because. Second, I think it’s totally unfair that women are the only ones who get spoiled and showered with gifts. I mean, why can’t romance and presents be for your man, too? Today we’re all about female empowerment, and aren’t buying your man gifts too part of that empowerment?
Look, I don’t curl up into a ball and consume unhealthy amounts of chocolate and watch sickly romantic movies on February 14 or anything like that. I just don’t like what the holiday represents, that’s all. Even when in a relationship, I have celebrated it once—and that was back when I was in grade ten. I don’t think it counts, really.
Regardless, now I’m in university and in a committed relationship and February 14th is upon us once again. My man and I are definitely celebrating it, and I’m super excited for it, but I’m not expecting the moon. I haven’t asked my boyfriend for anything—I keep reminding him how soon it is. But I’ve been planning too. I’ve got him presents, I bought myself a cute dress for sixteen dollars (Thank you, H&M! The student life is killing me), and I’m going to get my nails redone as well as put some effort in to looking nice (you know the routine, ladies: hair and makeup) for whatever he has up his sleeve.
Valentine’s Day often sends single people—especially girls—into a depression consumed with chocolate and The Notebook, which inevitably leads to tears about how you don’t have your own Noah Calhoun, or you haven’t met your Noah yet. First of all, and I can’t stress this enough: IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE. If you’re okay with being single 364 days a year, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be any different. Yes, it’s definitely geared towards celebrating happy couples in love, but essentially, V-Day is about LOVE. It doesn’t have to be romantic love between people who are dating, engaged or married. If you’re single, use the day to show your parents you love them, or your friends, or other family members.
I remember this friend I had in high school once told me that every Valentine’s Day, her father bought her chocolates and a bouquet of roses every year. It’s an adorable tradition for a father to start with his daughter, and is definitely a way to make her feel special.
If you don’t have a long standing tradition with your parents, you could start one. Send them something to their office. Or, if you don’t want to make Valentine’s Day about your parents, do it for your girlfriends. Send them flowers or chocolate, or a cute card that tells them how happy you are to be friends.
Have a girl’s night! You can either stay in with an abundance of chocolate and romantic comedies, or you can get all dolled up (look good, feel good, right?) and go out to dinner, or to a club!
Since V-Day this year kicks off Reading Week at Queen’s, my roommates (all of them single and loving it, BTW) are headed up to Montreal to hit up the clubs for a girls weekend.
February 14 doesn’t have to be a reminder of how unaccomplished you are relationship-wise or how alone you feel. Just because you don’t have a man on your arm, it’s okay. YOU’RE okay. Think about how accomplished you are in the friend department and how lucky you are to be surrounded by such wonderful friends. Reinvent what Valentine’s Day means to you and your friends. You have love in your life regardless of your relationship status. Remember that.
Now it’s time to address all the couples out there who are celebrating Valentine’s Day (like myself)! First of all, as the girl, don’t expect the moon. Lower your expectations. That way, if your partner plans something super romantic, you’ll be all the more surprised.
Second, buy him something. Or many things. Just get him a gift or two! He’s not the only one who has to spend obscene amounts of money on February 14th. He’ll appreciate the effort, too. And if you’re feeling flirty, buy something that’s for him, but really for both of you. You could get something like a naughty board game or book (like Cosmo’s sex positions book) for both of you to enjoy.
Third, put some effort in. Treat yourself to a new dress or lingerie or an appointment at the salon—hair or nails—either would be appreciated. Don’t be afraid to pull out that little black dress at the back of your closet, or your sky-high heels for the night. Go all out. Why not?
Whether you’re staying in or going out, you should still look nice. When discussing V-Day plans with my beau, I told him that even if we stay in and order Chinese and watch a movie and cuddle, I’m still doing my hair and putting on my adorable $16 dress. It’s nice to feel pretty—especially on Valentine’s Day.
Just try to remember that V-Day isn’t all about the presents or the romantic restaurant or the sappy movie he might take you to. It’s about spending time with the person you love and having it be quality, undivided time.
Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship come this Friday, February 14, try not to get caught up in the materialistic aspects of the day. Remember that Valentine’s Day is about spending it with the people or the person you love, not about gifts and expensive dinners.