Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is the ultimate self guide to ensuring you live your best life. Below are some of the many passages Manson includes which encompass the overall message within the book; not giving a f*ck. I highly suggest reading this book, it’s both empowering and enlightening. I have linked the book available on Amazon and the e-book via Indigo below!
- “The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience”
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Manson explains that the more you try to pursue something greater, the less satisfied you become. In fact, by the constant pursuance of something greater, you’re continuously reinforcing the fact that you lack it in the first place. If you go your entire life chasing something better, you’ re already giving too many f*cks. Manson writes, “The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance”. So Manson explains that by pursuing the negative, you generate the positive. “Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others”.
- “Not giving a f*ck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different”
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Manson explains that there’s no such thing as simply not caring at all. As humans, we all care about something. The question is, “what do we choose to give a f*ck about?”. The most admirable people are those who choose to overcome adversity, and who have a willingness to be different, all for the sake of one’s own values. These people don’t care about pissing others off as long as they’re doing what they believe is right or important. They say “F*ck it”, not to everything in life, but to everything unimportant in life. In short, these people reserve their f*cks for things that matter. They will not waste their time or energy on things that aren’t immediately important to them. So, when you’re in a situation that’s starting to stir up emotions, stop and ask yourself, “Do I want to use one of my f*cks on this?”
- “To not give a f*ck about adversity, you must first give a f*ck about something more important than adversity”
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“If you find yourself giving too many f*cks about trivial things that bother you, for example, your ex changing their profile picture, or the batteries on your TV remote dying… chances are you don’t have much going on in your life to give a legitimate f*ck about. This is the real problem”. When a person feels as though they have no problems in their life, their brain will start to create insignificant problems. Manson states that, “finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive use of your time and energy”. If you don’t find that meaningiful something, your f*cks will be given to meaningless things, people, and situations. Which in truth, you don’t actually care about, you’re just bored or lonely. This one’s extremely interesting to me. We give so many f*cks to people and situations that we really don’t care about at all, we’re simply bored. Imagine coming to this realization before you give a f*ck?
- “Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f*ck about”
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As a kid we each give way too many f*cks, about anything and everything. We care about what others think of us, what we are wearing, how we look, etc. As we mature, we begin to be more selective of what we give a f*ck about. “We realize how little attention people pay to the superficial details about us, and we choose not to obsess over them so much”. Once you accept that we are who we are and life is what it is, your need to give a f*ck about everything will go away. It’s important to remember that when certain situations or people get on our nerves or make us upset, it’s because we are letting them. We’re choosing to give a f*ck. What if we instead chose to not care? What if instead, we were so confident and assured in ourselves that this person’s words or actions had very little meaning?
Manson writes, “once you become comfortable with all the shit that life throws at you (and there will be a lot of shit), you become invincible”. The only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it. The takeaway then, is the only way to stop giving a f*ck, is to start limiting the amount of f*cks you give. Reserve your f*cks for things that truly matter to you.Book available for purchase on Indigo or Amazon! Happy reading!