Spring is known as the season of new beginnings, but I see autumn as the true season of rebirth. It’s a time to reflect on what truly matters as we bid goodbye to summer’s carefree days, close the chapter on summer jobs, and return to the rhythm of everyday life. Whether it’s starting a new school year, embarking on a fresh job, or crafting a new routine, the winds of change usher in the breakup season, prompting us to assess what truly deserves a place in our lives.
For me, it all unfolded on a random weekday night in June. Just one sentence and the rug was pulled out from under me. It was a very disheartening moment, and I braced myself for the emotional rollercoaster ahead. Since that fateful night, I’ve had to confront harsh truths about my past relationship and commit to my own healing journey. I’m not a relationship expert and I’m still on the path to recovery, but I’ve made significant progress in coming to terms with loss. If you find yourself healing from a summer breakup or currently navigating one, here are some strategies that have been incredibly helpful for me so far.
1. Give yourself permission to feel sad
It may be tempting to bury your emotions and seek new distractions immediately, but bottling up your feelings might make the emotional release more explosive. Breakups are undeniably sad. You are not only losing a significant person, but also a cornerstone of your daily routine, and that can be very difficult to let go of so suddenly. It’s similar to mourning the loss of someone who is still alive. In light of these circumstances, it’s perfectly acceptable and healthy to feel sad. Put on that sad playlist and wallow in bed for as long as you need. Before you can move forward and build a new life, you must acknowledge and embrace your emotions.
2. Talk to your friends until you’re all talked out
Not everyone finds talking therapeutic, but for those who process their thoughts by vocalizing them, sharing your experiences can be incredibly relieving. Breakups can easily consume your thoughts and divert your focus from other aspects of your life. Pouring your heart out to your friends helps you navigate your feelings and gain clarity on your path to healing. Sometimes, verbalizing the story of your past relationship may help you see it in a new light, making it easier to recognize that your ex-partner might not have been as exceptional as you once believed.
3. Write a letter
While venting to friends can be therapeutic, some thoughts and memories are best dealt with privately. To confront these intimate aspects of your past relationship, consider writing a letter addressed to your ex. Pour your heart out about your emotions, the aspects of the relationship that left you feeling unfulfilled, the ways that you might have hurt your partner, and everything you might’ve experienced since the breakup. This exercise can reveal what you didn’t receive in your last relationship and guide you toward what to seek in your next one.
4. Embrace being single!
A breakup can undoubtedly set off a tumultuous period of your life, and you’ll likely have some difficult days down the line where you miss the comfort and familiarity of your ex. However, this period can also be uniquely fulfilling. You are only responsible for yourself, and you can focus on crafting a schedule that aligns with your needs and desires. You can dedicate more time and energy to nurturing meaningful friendships, focusing on your studies, and prioritizing your physical and mental health.
Remember that healing is not a linear journey; some days will be easier than others. However, if you commit to healing by reflecting on your past relationship and confronting your emotions, you will emerge from this season of rebirth as a more resilient and self-aware individual. Embrace the autumn winds of change and let them guide you toward personal growth and self-discovery.