Despite the show ending in 2007, the American comedy-drama television series Gilmore Girls continues to be a very popular show. This is especially prevalent in the social media world where debates about the characters, plot lines, and even plot holes remain commonly discussed—one of the most prevailing topics revolving around the character of Rory.
Rory Gilmore enters the show as the 16-year-old daughter of Lorelai Gilmore, a thirty-something-year-old single mother, with whom she lives in the town of Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Portrayed by Alexis Bledel, Rory is one of the two protagonists of the series. She is portrayed as an introverted and smart, yet naive, young girl. As we watch her, she goes through the motions of life: friendships, romance, school, and the struggles of being a teenager and young adult. Despite the immense love for her very similar mother, Lorelai, Rory is often at the forefront of most debates regarding unliked characters of the show.
One of the biggest points of discussion by fans regarding why she’s unlikable is how unaware she is of her privilege. While we know that her mother left home when she got pregnant at 16 and had to earn a living all by herself, Rory did not have to experience that same struggle. Rory formed a close relationship with her wealthy grandparents who helped fund her schooling to two prestigious schools. As well, they provided her with opportunities and a safety net that most other teens do not have available to them.
This character flaw becomes especially notable when one of Rory’s love interests, Logan Huntzberger, enters the show. In the Logan storyline, Rory constantly calls him out for living an easy life and having amazing opportunities, simply because of his last name. Unfortunately for Rory-lovers, this was extremely hypocritical of her, as she experiences the same reality as Logan. Wherever she goes, her grandparents’ wealth and the weight carried by her last name is invoked, providing her with privileges unlike anyone else. It’s no surprise that many fans use this argument as proof for why Rory is a problematic character, and it’s a fact that is nearly impossible to debunk. Rory was privileged and frustratingly oblivious to it.
Another commonly brought up controversy regarding her likability is Rory’s ‘gifted kid’ burnout plot point. The whole premise of this plot is that Rory grew up as a ‘gifted kid’ who did well in school, brought home good grades, was well behaved, and overall had a very bright future ahead of her. Unfortunately, this placed a lot of pressure on her and, as a result, she experienced burn out when she entered university, causing her to be reckless and take a semester off.
Personally, I thought this trope was one of the things that made me really love Rory’s character. This trope is heartbreakingly relatable, making for a complex and well written character. As someone who grew up getting straight A’s and praised for being seemingly smart and perfect, the pressure that came with this image was a lot. It was exhausting having to meet the expectations of adults at such a young age, especially when the expectations were just thrown onto you. When people decide you’re gifted because you read books and are a more quiet and calm kid, suddenly you are forced to forever adhere to that. It’s not Rory’s fault that gifted kid burnout is real and she experienced it. This isn’t to say all her choices of suddenly quitting school, cheating, getting arrested and other things were acceptable and solely to blame on the burnout. However, it puts it into perspective and makes her more human; more relatable. And, it’s harder to hate someone whose pain you can relate to.
One of my favourite topics to discuss in the “Love or Hate Rory” debate is her friendship with her childhood best friend, Lane. This is definitely a big part of why she’s disliked and honestly, I can’t blame people for this one. Throughout the entirety of the show, Rory would always goes on about how Lane came first and is the most important person to her in the world, and yet Lane is always seen in the background of the plots.
Lane is put in the backseat when Rory has a boyfriend or crush, ditched her for her friend, Paris, and other school friends, never defended her when Emily or anyone else spoke poorly about her, and many other instances. Even the fact that Rory never makes an active effort to make Lane’s mother, Mrs. Kim, like and trust her more by doing whatever she can do adhere to her strict rules was very telling of Rory’s priorities. I don’t know about you, but if I knew a friend’s mother was strict about certain things, I would try my best to avoid them around her to maintain my friendship. Yes, Mrs. Kim was a bit much in the show, but she was still Lane’s mum and had every right to be the way she was. The least Rory could’ve done was to do her part to make their relationship better and truly show that Lane is an important person to her.
Finally, what we were told about Rory never seemed to match what we got. We’re told Rory is a tremendously amazing public speaker and yet every speech she gives is pretty boring and monotone. We’re told she’s a great, ambitious journalist but she’s a shy, somewhat introverted loner who rarely wants the positions she’s given, and prefers reading by herself to interacting with others and striving for ambition. We’re told she’s a perfect kid, but she has affairs with married and engaged men, steals boats, stays out late, gets drunk, and looks down on people. We’re told she’s a genius, but she never does anything “smart” outside reading. No nerdy hobbies or interests. We’re painted such a perfect picture of someone and the reality is she turned out to be just like every other teen/young adult.
At the end of the day, the show is beloved and continues to have an extremely strong fanbase. The “Love or Hate Rory” debate will always remain alive. What side are you on?