I’ve been single my whole life. Never been on a date, never had a situationship, and if you couldn’t tell based on the title, I’ve never been in a relationship. While this might seem lonely and sometimes it can be, I’ve learned many lessons from this experience (or lack thereof). With Valentine’s Day coming up in a few weeks (and all the Instagram stories that people will post of their SOs), I felt that now was a good time to reflect on my experience with being single.
Avoiding Certain Stress
While being in a relationship can be exciting and rewarding, it can also be stressful. Being single means I avoid any of the negative situations that might come with a relationship. I don’t have to waste time wondering what a guy I’m texting thinks about me, or worry about being cheated on, etc. I understand that people who are happy and secure in their relationships might not have these thoughts, but it’s reassuring to know that being single means they don’t apply to me whatsoever.
Checking my phone every five minutes to see if a guy has texted me back is something I’m grateful to not be currently dealing with. In the past, I would hyper-fixate over being left on delivered for hours on Snapchat, knowing that they were active on the app only a few minutes ago. This made me feel insecure and sometimes I would question my self-worth. Looking back, I wish I spent way less time having negative thoughts that made me feel bad about myself. However, it taught me to start prioritizing more important things, such as my friends, family and school.
Experiencing More Excitement
One of my housemates recently told me that she feels I’ve become happier lately – something I agree with her – and I think it partly has to do with the fact that I’m not stressing over any guys. Like many single university students, I have multiple campus crushes, but this positively contributes to my day instead of making it more arduous. I love feeling cute after getting ready in the morning, hoping I’ll make eye contact with one of them (or maybe forming a new crush) while walking to class, doing schoolwork at Cogro, or exercising at the ARC. Since most of my housemates are in relationships, I love returning home at the end of the day and telling them all about some cute guy I saw earlier whom I had zero interaction with, and whose name, year, and program I don’t know. I think they’re quite entertained by it.
Besides campus crushes, another exciting part of being single is going out with friends, especially friends who are single too; I love when we have debrief sessions the next morning and fill everyone in on the highlights. Last week, I went to Ale for Tumble Tuesday. One of my friends saw a guy she thought was cute, and just as she was about to get his attention by placing a cowboy hat on his head, he turned around, surprising her. She pulled the classic Canadian move by apologizing for no reason, followed by him winking at her, and then her coming back to us. I was proud of her for building up the courage to make a move, as it’s something I never do myself. It was the best part of the night and definitely made our first Tumble of the semester one to remember.
Knowing My Worth
Having been single my whole life, I’ve become more selective in terms of deciding who I’d date. I don’t want to rush into a relationship with someone. I enjoy being single, so when I do eventually enter a relationship, this special person should positively contribute to my life, rather than taking away from it. While I understand that no relationship is perfect and it won’t always be easy, for a relationship to be worth it for me there should be more reward than risk.
Single and Still Thriving
If there’s anything to take away from this article, if you’re in the same boat as me, that’s totally okay! Certain things in life aren’t meant to be rushed and things will click into place when they feel right. While the times I 11th-wheeled in my second year were not always enjoyable, they taught me to embrace my independence and enjoy the various benefits of being single (having multiple campus crushes absolutely being one of them). I’d be lying if I said my friends don’t come to me for relationship advice, so I guess I’m living proof of “coaches don’t play”, something I take pride in. And who knows, maybe 2025 will be the year I get to play ;)