The thought of “giving up” usually conjures some uncomfortable feelings and is often regarded as something to be condemned. However, I have learned that sometimes giving up is the best thing you can do. Nonetheless, it is important to learn that giving up doesn’t mean you’re incapable or have failed.
Unfortunately, my friends and I have struggled to fulfill an overwhelming array of commitments, while sacrificing health in pursuit of academic and extracurricular demands. Despite these efforts, midway through the semester burnout becomes inevitable. This cycle has instilled in me a skepticism towards the prevailing culture of incessant work and overexertion.
Self-help culture praises persistence, and although it is admirable, it can often lead to unhealthy behaviours. The “never give up” mindset can take a mental toll very quickly, as this tiring cycle can leave you unhappy with yourself rather than motivated. While the virtues of perseverance are applauded, there is a fine line between working hard to achieve a goal and letting a goal that you no longer desire prevent you from discovering new ones.
Certain things we’re told in life set us up to have goals that will ultimately bring us success. However, encouraging the prioritization of these goals and expectations over mental health to achieve validation perpetuates a cycle of burnout. Nonetheless, it can be difficult to abandon these goals and expectations, as sometimes it’s all we’ve ever known. Thinking about what you want outside of what you have been told to want or have previously desired can be overwhelming, but creating new goals that align with the life you want to live can bring a sense of relief. Being in tune with what you want is essential to avoiding burnout. When you don’t enjoy what you’re working towards you are bound to burn out.
Embracing the idea of “giving up” can be a positive thing. Being able to accept this can be a marker of understanding oneself — physical limits, mental boundaries, and the time required for personal growth. While “giving up” can be either hard or surprisingly liberating, it also embodies freedom — a deliberate release, and letting go of what is no longer serving you. It is important to note that this act directly applies by rejecting situations and narratives that no longer align with your well-being.
My personal relationship with academics hasn’t always been a healthy one. It has always been a struggle for me to accept anything less than perfect. However, it took reaching a breaking point and intense burnout for me to realize what I needed to give up and how to redirect my goals toward a healthier way of living. In doing this, I was able to learn a lot about myself and break an endless cycle of mental strain.
Figuring out what you want and when to give up is an ongoing process, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re still testing the waters. We’re at an age where we are making a lot of important decisions about our lives, whether it be about our careers or relationships. Personally, I believe the biggest mistake we can make isn’t making the “wrong” decision, but letting ourselves fear those wrong decisions. Learning to give up on the idea that there’s a singular “best version” of yourself is one of the most important things I’ve done for myself.
Regardless of what you decide to do with your choices, it is essential to treat yourself with kindness, be proud of your determination to pursue your goals, and be even prouder of your bravery to give up.