We all hear one thing, in different ways, as we pack our lives and move into university towns: “These will be the best years of your life”. To be completely honest, there were moments in the last few years when I questioned whether there was any truth to that statement. I thought it was a phrase thrown around by people who missed the unpredictability and consequent excitement that comes with youth, telling us to cherish the time we had left before we became jaded from the many responsibilities that come with life. Because sometimes, these years truly were not the “best”. There were moments where I was relentlessly stressed, struggling financially, treating my mind and body like they were disposable, thrown into spirals of loneliness, and being pressured into figuring out my whole life in four short years.
But now, on the cusp of graduation, I think I understand why we are told these are the best years of our lives. It’s not because we will enjoy every single moment or that they will be the pinnacle of our lives as we are led to believe. Trust me, the highs and depths of our lives have yet to be felt. As much as it could feel like it, you have not cried all the tears there were left to cry, found all the joy you would ever find, lost all the people you would inevitably lose, or experienced all the love you could fathom giving and receiving. But these are the “best” years of your life because they are the best time to create the foundations of your personhood, whatever that may look like.
I don’t think you have to figure out what you’ll become (I happen to still be working that one out), but you’ll get a glimpse into who you’ll become. You don’t need to have wise, concise answers to any of the big questions. Just discover yourself, away from all the people, expectations, and experiences that have always shaped who you thought you were. Lose yourself and regain it elsewhere, sometimes in the most unexpected places, in ways that are most authentic to yourself. These are the best years in only the ways that matter to you and what you make of them.
I know this may all seem very ambiguous, but don’t think too much about it. Just remain as you are, doing life as you do, and somewhere along the way, you’ll gain clarity and perspective in the chaos of it all. I don’t have any wisdom to impart on how you would do it; I do life in a very human way, on a trial-and-error basis, much like all of you. I find myself in the many worlds I enter, the doors I open, the heart I give, the hands I take, the layers of purpose I uncover, the infinite matcha variations I sip on, the warmth I feel on my skin on cool summer days, and most of all, the grace and space I give myself to do it all. Because you will not leave these years having completed the journey of self-discovery – and that’s okay.