What I Thought I Wanted by Graduation Versus What I Actually Want Now

When we are young, the notion of university feels like it is incredibly far away. It is almost a mysterious land, like wonderland, where the options are limitless and no one can tell you what to do. And then high school hits and you have that “oh $h*t” moment when you suddenly have to think about what you might want to do with your life. At this point you probably start to think about what you might want your life to look like once you graduate, because you are going to be old – amiright? Basically, you should have your whole life together and know exactly what you are doing by the time you graduate. LOL! 

If you’re graduating this month (technically in two months) then you might be evaluating where your life is at and what is next. You may also be comparing notes to what your expectations were when you started university, and venturing into the land of adulthood. If you’re like me, then life threw you some curveballs and most of your expectations changed. And let’s be real here, your expectations are going to change again in the next four years. 

So let me break it down for you; if you’re a university student or a recent graduate, you might be able to relate.

Then: To be married 

You think I’m joking? Oh no, I was going to be old (like early 20’s old!) and child-bearing years were going to be almost over. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. 

Now: To Enjoy Life

My advice to you: go out and enjoy where you’re at. Go on a lot of bad first dates. Swipe right and left. Go dance your ass off and kiss a couple frogs. Stay in every weekend and date the ice cream tub. Enjoy time with your university boyfriend. Just do what makes you happy and don’t get too hung up on the details. You’re not getting these years back. 

Then: To have your own place

Now: To have enough money for rent 

And maybe live completely alone for a while to test the independence, avoid the terrible random university roommates, and be able to dance in your underwear without judgment… depending on the money-for-rent situation, of course.

Then: Your own credit card

So you can stop calling mom for all your purchases, and freely shop like you’re an added character from Sex and the City.

Now: To be reconnected to the bank of Mom and Dad

Seriously, spending sucks when that bill comes in at the end of the month and you have to face the reality of all those purchases you’ve made – even if they were necessary things (like all those KD boxes, which were necessary for you to eat and live).

Then: To see the latest movie in theatres all the time

Now: To save my money for something more exciting

The movie theatre was the place to be in high school. You could see all the latest movies and not worry about the financial burden, because hello, disposable income! Now, eveny penny counts. Seeing a movie might mean you’re not eating chicken this week. #thestruggleisreal. Plus, who wants to put clothes on and actually go to the theatre when you can wear sweat pants and sit on the couch with your 50-cent bag of popcorn?

Then: To go to Hollister and buy as many new shirts as possible 

Now: To be able to afford big kid clothes

Remember when Hollister was, like, THE thing? You weren’t anybody unless you had “HOLLISTER” written across your chest. Now all you want is to be able to buy a new blazer for that big kid job interview. Except that one blazer is the price of four Hollister shirts. How is this even fair? 

Then: To be skinny 

Now: To actually take care of your body 

Crash diets were a huge thing in high school (at least for me). It was mostly just important to fit into a pair of jeans that were under a size 6. But being a university student brings about the harsh reality that you need to take care of yourself. You can’t just binge on fast food and expect your energy levels to stay high all the time (unless you’re blessed with a stellar metabolism, in which case – share!).

Then: To be popular and constantly be with people 

Now: To have legit friendships – and alone time. 

In a world that is so focused on “me,” real and true friends are hard to find – hold onto them when you do, and love them. Also, love yourself and enjoy alone time when you have it. 

Then: To be done with school and move on with life

Now: To learn as much as possible – and yes, maybe even do more school

You’re just finishing university;  it’s safe to say that you like to learn. Unless you have a twisted sense of fun, it’s likely that you don’t like to study or do assignments, but the learning part is priceless. You might even decide to do grad school down the road – who knows?

Then: To have a big kid job for good 

Now: To enjoy fun student jobs for as long as possible 

Find jobs that allow you to travel, or book as much time off as possible while you still can – at least for this summer. You have the rest of your life to have a serious big kid job.

Then: To have no student loans 

Now: Okay, no one wants these, but they keep you humble and teach you how to budget

#nuffsaid. Thanks Canada. #giveusfreeschool

Then: To not rely on your parents 

Now: “Please government, don’t take my parents’ benefits away from me!  I’ll stay in school forever to keep them – don’t test me!”

I don’t think we ever stop needing our parents. That’s just life. 

Then: To never be like your mom

Now: To be like your mom

Momma made you who you are; don’t forget that. 

Then: To settle down 

Now: To just go – see the world and travel. 

Maybe you do just want to settle down, and if you do – enjoy it! But if not, don’t settle. Go and do what you dream of. We live in a generation where you can!

Growing up comes in stages and waves. I used to rush it; I couldn’t wait to be “older.” But what I’ve learned is that the journey is shorter than we think, and so we should enjoy it every step of the way. What we want now isn’t what we’re always going to want. What we see for ourselves in five years might not be what life looks like in five years – and that’s okay. We change all the time. We meet people who help us grow and discover who we are along the way – sometimes we do that on our own. But we never stop growing. So enjoy it. Stay where you are if you want, travel if you want, move – just don’t settle and don’t ever stop growing.