14 Signs He’s Not the One for You

Sometimes it is easier to brush the annoying little things that guys do aside, ignore the problem, and hope it gets better.  But just because you’ve mastered a plan to help tolerate his actions doesn’t mean that you should be putting up with them in the first place.  Be weary of these 14 red flags!

1. He only texts you at night (a.k.a after 9pm).

You’re on top of the world.  Your hair’s flashing and the crowd loves it—your dream is perfection.  A day in the life of Beyoncé.

Your eyes pop open.  It’s the middle of the night and the vibration from your phone pulls you out of your dream.  You look at the name and it’s Mr. Not So-Right.

He walked right by you in the café and decides to text you during your best dream yet.  If he doesn’t want to talk to you during the day, or even grab lunch together, then he’s only after only one thing.  One thing you shouldn’t give him.  What should you do?  Turn your phone over and get right back to your dream.

2. He points out things that aren’t going to get fixed.

“Why do you always do this?”  “Why do you always do that?”

How about “I can’t change who I am”?

If the list of things he points out about you seems endless, stop for a second.  Why is he pointing out so many of your flaws?  Guys who do this want to project their problems onto you, and they tend to feed off of your grief and guilt.  Don’t feel guilty about something that you can’t change about yourself.

So please, give him the hair flip as you walk off.

3. He doesn’t talk to you in public.

While walking across campus, you see him in the distance.  With a big smile on your face, you expect that when you cross paths he’ll say something.  But he doesn’t.  He walks right by you, leaving you in a daze.  Did he not see you?  Your friends disagree—he saw you.

It’s impossible not to notice someone when you walk right by them.  Saying “Hi” would have been impossible because he walked so quickly.  Are you not worthy enough to be spoken to in person?

Guys who usually do this are not trying to hide their intentions.  This corresponds with number 1: he only sees it fit to text you after hours.  If he was really interested in a relationship, he would approach you and start a conversation about anything.

4. He doesn’t want to hang out during the day.

He’s not nocturnal, he’s a kernel.  Well, that rhyme didn’t go too well, but you get the point.  Don’t fall for his excuses that he’s too busy during the day to at least grab lunch—he does eat, right?  If he was really interested, he’d take at least 10 minutes to sit and eat with you.

Next time you see him, let him know:

5. You can’t read him.

Because you don’t speak to him in person, you can’t really read his text messages.  Actually, you can’t read him at all.  If you can’t see his intentions by now, then it’s time you asked him.  Don’t waste your time trying to figure him out.

If it seems you’re putting in more energy than him—pause.  It takes two to have a mutual relationship, not one.

6. Your friends warn you about him.

He only wants to speak with you—alone.  You may be thinking “my friends aren’t the ones dating him.”  But, if they don’t get a good vibe from him, then you should listen.  You may not notice that he’s not the one, and that’s where your friends come in.  If every single one of them disagrees, take it into consideration.

7.  Your friends don’t like him or do not approve.

Just in case you need to read it again.  All of your friends don’t approve?  Listen to them.  Simple as that.

8. You chase him a lot.

You’re a month in, and you’re always the one having to initiate the conversations.  The last time you waited for him to text you, a week went by.  Suddenly after you posted a new picture on Instagram you got a text—really?

He enjoys the taste, and you’re only entertaining him. You’re not a dog, or a trophy he can show off.

9. He only approaches you in Toads (a.k.a at night).

After those stressful exams, it’s finally the weekend.  While dancing with your girls, guess who decides to join you?  Mr. Not-So-Right of course!  He wants a dance,

Like the great ladies above said, enough is enough.  No more approaching in Toads.  If he wants to talk, he can do it during the week and in person.

10. He has a bad rep.

Whenever his name comes up in a conversation, listen to what other people say.  If more than one person has something negative to say about him, he’s probably bad news.

So run, girl…run.

11. His little black book has more pages than his textbook.

What’s his major anyway?  If you don’t know it by now, then that’s a red flag.

If this dude’s black book is extensive and includes graphics, then drop the book and fiercely move along.

12. He throws shade.

He’s mad because you answered his text message 20 minutes late.  Or wait…is he also mad that your roommate is sleeping when he wants to come over?  Girl, it may not always be sunny, but he’s definitely throwing shade your way.

 If he gives you a look the 5th time he’s passed you on campus, don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.

He deserves an eye-roll…so please, give it to him.

13. He is two-faced and acts differently around his friends.

When his boys are around, he’ll show you off.  But the minute they walk off, he’s back to throwing shade.  Maybe you should have answered his text message instantly at 1am—woops?

Do you really want to be with someone who is only nice to you when he’s around his friends?

14.  He disrespected you.

You brushed it off. Say whatttt?

Thankfully your friends didn’t.  Are they overreacting?  Those are your girls, and they are only looking out for you because they care.  The first time he disrespected you, you should have kicked him to the side.

No one deserves to be called out of her name—you’re a woman, not a dog.

And remember that you are beautiful, and you do not need anyone to validate that fact.  Those around you truly love you and are only looking out for your best interest!  Don’t be afraid of dropping him if you need to, collegiates!