You remember seeing Cory, Topanga, Shawn, and Angela hanging out as a foursome, feeling overwhelmingly envious of their dynamic, don’t you? In real life, the idea of a double date seems to creep just on the border polygamy, and the benefits may lie under a blanket of disbelief; was Boy Meets World too good to be true?
Four people are out on a date. Each participant is trying to impress every other participant, keeping in mind the inevitable post-date “So, what did you think of her?” that he will ask his counterpart. Who pays? How many inside jokes are you permitted to laugh at with your girlfriend? How does the end-of-date kiss happen with another couple lurking about?
It seems like all fun and games, until you realize: crap, it’s still a date.
You’ve been brave enough to read this introduction, and now you’re wondering why I’m crushing your dreams about having the perfect double date; but read on! It’s crucial to understand why a double date can be awesome, and how to extinguish the usual pre-date nerves you’d get on a single date.
Double dating is encouraged not only by desperate couples looking for other couples to hang out with, but also by studies that say it’s something we should all consider doing. And if there’s a study proving it, that means it’s legit, right?
Established couples can find other established couples to go out and have fun with, but honestly, how many of those are there on campus? The real reason I’m interested in double dating is from the perspective of a single pair of girlfriends that need a single pair of boys to match. It’s high time you find out what the big deal about double dating is, and if it’s right for you.
- Pure comfort.
Have you ever been super nervous on a date and realized afterwards that you weren’t even acting like yourself? It may sound counteractive, but adding two more ‘dates’ into the mix may be your solution. It’s easier to take social cues when out on a double date because they’re being sent from more than one direction. Talking too much? The other couple can politely cut in, because they don’t need to nod in secret boredom like your direct date will. Food in your teeth? Your friend will kick you under the table and let you know (if she’s a real friend, that is). Everything you worry about on a one-on-one date is seriously diminished when there are two extra people there with you.
- Genuine opinions.
If you’ve ever summarized a date for your friend, and she didn’t understand why you found it so annoying that your guy kept bringing up his stupid fraternity, you know how frustrating her response can be. All you’re left to say is “But you weren’t there!”. Something that doesn’t seem like a deal breaker on the surface can become exactly that when you witness the situation in real time. It’s easier to evaluate the date, and more importantly, the boys, with your friend when the friend is actually there. If opinions don’t match up, you can at least have an informed conversation about why you each feel that way.
- Less awkwardness.
Ah, the cringe-worthy awkward silence, the fear of which is so strong that we catch ourselves in a pre-date ritual of thinking up “in case of emergency” conversation starters. Thankfully, there’s no need to stress as much when there are twice as many minds racing for silence fillers, should this quietness from hell fall upon your date. You and your friend can think up what you want to know about your dates before you get there, and be sure to keep those in mind as a precaution. Asking questions about his major, for example, is better than uneasily saying how lovely the weather is, because you’re bound to receive a longer response and more interesting conversation with the former. And, make sure to urge your friend to jump in order to prolong the dialogue.
- Guaranteed Praise (from your girlfriend, that is).
Never, ever, ever go out on a double date with a friend who tends to get jealous or say outrageous things that could put your chances with the guy in jeopardy. Choose very wisely if you can help it; teaming up with a friend who you share mutual respect with can earn you both a lot of credit in the end. Pointing out interesting and impressive aspects of each other can help the guy better understand you. On a direct date, he will learn what you find interesting about yourself, but on a double date he will learn what other people find interesting about you (which could be totally different things, especially if you’re too modest to bring up an amazing accomplishment of yours!).
- Safer environment
Not to go all mom and dad on you, but if you’ve ever watched a 48 Hours marathon on TLC you know that there are some sick freaks out there, and that it’s nearly impossible to spot who they are based on looks alone. Having someone with you, whether the double date is blind or with some boys you met at a bar, is crucial; just because they may be fellow college students (even Yale boys, ladies!) doesn’t mean they are automatically good guys. Being with someone else who’s undoubtedly on your side makes it easier to detect an uneasy or uncomfortable situation, and not feel like a paranoid freak in the process. QU girls are smart – we should know a bad situation when we see one, and be able to trust that our friends will see it too.
Table for four, please?