If you ever stayed late enough at New Haven’s Toad’s Place for the lights to go on, you realize that the awesome dancer behind you, the one you hooked up with, turns out to be a dud instead of a stud.
College hook ups just might be more complex than anything you may deal with in your undergrad years. Different signs and signals usually mean the complete opposite of what they use to mean in high school. If he wants to bring you back to his room for the night, and you give in, he is bringing you back not because he likes you, but because he probably wants to get some action. The likely chances that he is asking you to have lunch with him the next day, or any day after that, are very slim.
“I have watched my friends walk around campus and be completely ignored by the guy they were with last night. And it goes both ways because they don’t even acknowledge the boys either,” said Quinnipiac student Kenzie Malone. “After one hook up, people act like they don’t know each other.”
You’re not playing hard to get if you decide not to go back with the guy; you are respecting yourself. You don’t want to be the girl who wakes up in the morning with regrets, and then have to walk across campus in her clubbing dress at 11 a.m. We all know the walk of shame is never glorious, and people usually don’t forget whom they saw.
If you are drinking and you are about to hook up with a boy who is also drinking, think to yourself if you would hook up with the guy if you were sober and do you honestly think he would do it too?
Not every guy in college is like that, but you will come across your fair share of them. If you hooked up with him weeks ago and barely heard from him, the likely chances are you were his booty call, just a one timer. If he texts you after 1 a.m. to “hang out,” most likely he wants to just hook up with you again, nothing more. It is up to you to understand that the relationship that you may at first thought was going to blossom, is only based on physical late-night attraction and wants.
For instance a girl I know, Kelsey*, thought her booty call hooks up were helping land her the older guy she had been crushing on. Saturday nights after 2 a.m., she would receive calls to come to his off-campus house, and she would actually do it. She claimed she knew it was a booty call. Little did she know her dream boy was actually crushing on another girl, Ally*, whom he knew well, respected, and the girl was not one to do the late night booty calls. She was always one to have fun, but respected herself and everyone around her at the same time. Word got out that this boy said Ally was the type of girl he would date, while Kelsey was the type only good for hook ups.
Don’t get me wrong; harmless college hook ups are not bad if you know the likely chances of it being a relationship are very slim. It could happen, but remember boys like the type of girls who are flirty but don’t give into everything they want in the first night.
*Names have been changed