In a land not-so-far-away, there resides a miniature version of yourself who’s nestled in your mind. And she’s not so sweet. She’s known as the “Bitch,” and she lives up to her name. The Bitch proves herself at her own convenience: when you’re about to sleep, when you’re looking in the mirror, when you’re about to take an exam. She says things to you like, “Do you really think you’re capable of that?” or, “You’ll never pass this test!” and it can be pretty difficult to tune her out.
Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez, a psychologist in Larchmont, New York, works with many individuals who struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues daily. One evening while Plumez was talking with a client, she realized traditional psychotherapy techniques were just not cutting it anymore.
“Out of desperation, I just blurted out ‘Boy, are you a bitch…to yourself!’” Plumez said. Thus, The Bitch was born.
Plumez decided to take her notion of the Bitch and write a self-help book for women to overcome self-harming thoughts. It’s titled, The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic.
The book is split up into chapters of different situations where the Bitch is sure to make a scene. Plumez also features real life examples of how her clients defeated their Bitches and how much of a difference it made in their lives.
Although The Bitch in Your Head mainly targets older women, a large portion of the book is dedicated to situations that college women can strongly relate to. There are chapters that cover getting ahead on the job, handling sex and dating and attending parties. For example, the Bitch will urge you not to go to a party your friends aren’t up for because you may not know anyone else there (and will probably stand there looking lonely and awkward). But Plumez suggests you go to the party despite the fact and make friends with others who also look like they are there alone. This way, you’ve defeated the Bitch and possibly made a new friend!
Plumez agrees that her book applies to college students. “[The Bitch] affects every age, whether you’re a little kid to an older individual,” Plumez said. “The more praise you get, the more The Bitch says you’re an imposter.”
As college students, there is much opportunity for praise because there is always room to improve and be charitable, both on and off campus. Whether you’re passing your class with flying colors, or you’re being of service to the less fortunate, you’re more than likely to have the Bitch nagging in your ear.
Plumez suggests men have a Bitch, too. But she believes their bitch “can be denied and ignored more easily.” Plumez hopes that The Bitch in Your Head can help women ignore their Bitches just as well as men do.
As finals week approaches, Plumez shared some advice to defeat your Bitch.
“It’s common when you’re studying for an exam that criticism spurs to avoid studying,” Plumez said. “You have to imagine yourself doing well, staying calm and thinking about how happy you’ll be when it’s all over. Everyone knows these [tips], but it’s hard to put it in practice.”
Defeating your Bitch is hard, but Plumez proves it can be done in her book, The Bitch in Your Head.
As a humanitarian, Plumez believes eliminating the Bitch can benefit more than just your own life.
“I really do think that if you overcome the negativity and go for [your] aspirations, it will be a [really] good thing for humanity.”
For more information on The Bitch in Your Head, check out the video below!