Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Every Woman: “Friend or Frenemy”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rider chapter.
What do you consider a friend to be—is it someone you can tell everything to or someone you have sleepovers with?  Someone who you were told to play with as kids and just clicked, someone who you did homework or shopped with, or someone you can’t imagine your life without? 

Webster defines a friend as “a favored companion,” an acquaintance, someone who is not hostile, or someone you’re attached to “by affection or esteem.”  So, if this is what serves as a friend, when did the definition of a friend become skewed to a person that knows every detail of your life?

What do you consider your friend to be when they’re talking behind your back or being catty to you for NO apparent reason—does that now make your friend into your newfound enemy or, the contemporary term, “frenemy”?  Urban Dictionary defines a frenemy as “The type of “friend” whose words or actions bring you down.(Whether you realize it as intentional or not) The type of friend you ought to cut off but don’t cuz…they’re nice… good …you’ve had good times with them” (sic).  So if this is the definition of a frenemy, what causes you to keep this negative person in your life—is it some type of attachment you have to them?  To be honest, it takes the average person to undergo a hellish ordeal with this person in order to consider severing their friendship ties.

What do I consider a friend to be?—someone who is empathetic, understanding, honest, upfront; the kind of person who will give me the realest maybe “meanest” opinion but sparing me from being the conversation pieces.  I’m the kind of friend who will tell my friends the truth even if it’s not what they want to hear, but in a kind manner.  People need to learn the distinction between being honest and just flat out rude.  For example: if I’m wearing a less than flattering outfit, tell me this outfit doesn’t flatter my body instead of: you just look disgusting. That’s the difference.  I understand at times it’s hard to keep your composure, but in order to spare a friend’s feelings and your friendship the balance between honesty and consideration needs to be known.

Honestly, who am I to throw my two cents in, and say what I consider a friend worthy of keeping to be?  But answer this for yourself: is your friend the one being honest with you and taking your feelings into consideration OR is that friend the one who tells you how it is at the expense of your feelings?   
 

A New Jersey native, Amber S. Brown is an ambitious communication/journalism student who aspires to have a career in the magazine world. Amber is a well-rounded and committed student who has repeatedly earned herself a spot on the Dean’s list at her university. Her thirst and energy for writing, style, and fitness keeps her one step ahead of everyone else. Driven to bring something fresh and new to the magazine industry, Amber continues to be focused, motivated, and has an unbreakable “anything’s possible” attitude.