This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rider chapter.
We’ve all played this game. You shoot the water gun directly at the target so that the object reaches the top first. We try to get it just right so that we can get the best result in the end, but for some reason we just can’t get it right. Sound familiar? *cough cough* It’s called a dating life. We’re constantly trying to get it right, but how often do we actually wind up winning? And once we’ve lost a little too much, it can be really frustrating, and we may even lose hope. But fear not! I have the solution to never lose again.
I have never ever, not once in my life, won the water gun game. It’s always the game I make it a point to play but have yet to win. However, each time I’ve gotten closer and closer. I develop new strategies that without those many times of loosing I would not have been able to figure out. I’m still learning, but who isn’t? It’s the same way when it comes to dating. I try to get it right each time and even though I have not had many successes, I get closer each time. I learn each time.
My senior year of high school, if you asked me what I wanted in a guy, I would probably have said something like, “I want someone who is nice, caring, goal oriented, and respectful.” That’s what I looked for in a guy; all qualities that I found in Anthony, to a certain extent (he was lacking in the goal oriented part), but when it came down to it, I realized that he didn’t have all the qualities that I needed. There was more to it. Even though I have a lot of pain that came from my relationship with Anthony, I’m thankful it happened because after the crying and the coping, came the reflection and the learning, and in the end I only benefited from it.
When trying to aim just right with the water gun, and in my dating life, I was a little off each time, I made what I’ll call, for lack of a better term, “mistakes,” I “failed.” But did I really? The only failed relationship is one you don’t get anything out of. In that case, I have been very successful. I gained a lot out of my relationship with Anthony, a lot of good memories, I had someone there for me through some pretty rough times, which I am so thankful for, even my sense of humor has changed a little, for the better of course, and I now I have a clearer idea of what I want in a boyfriend and, eventually, a husband. Along with the qualities I mentioned before, I want someone who has passion in his life and can share that with me, as well as allow me to share mine, someone who I can have an intellectual discussion with about current issues, culture, someone who is as interested in learning about the world as me, someone who will listen to what I have to say and communicate well with me when they have something to say, good or bad. These are just some things I’ve picked up through my experiences so far and as a now Junior in college, I have changed and grown for the better because of my “mistakes.”
We are college women! We’re in our late teens, early 20’s. This is the time to make mistakes! We’re not dumb or blind or naïve. We’re young and ambitious and we’re learning! I encourage you to go out and mistakes. Yes, you read that right, go make mistakes! Go play the water gun game and loose a couple rounds, focus on the target or don’t. Whatever! It’s up to you. The only condition I ask of you is to stop and think after each mistake. See what you’ve learned. Put those mistakes to good use. Take the time to think about the mistake that you’ve made. What mistake have you learned from today?
