Destigmitizing Asexuality

The divides within society can be abundant. Race, gender, burrito or burrito bowl, it seems like no one can ever agree. However, there is one topic that people seem to leave unquestioned: sex. Everyone just loves to talk about sex. From movie plots to singles on the radio, sex is a facet so heavily (and uniformly) ingrained into our daily lives, everyone must feel the same way about it, right? Not always.

How do I tell him I don’t want to have sex? And that his meme Instagram isn’t funny?

Asexuality, put simply, describes someone who does not experience a desire for sexual activity. Like with all sexual identities, asexuality exists on a spectrum, exhibiting itself heterogeneously amongst different people. This usually translates into different levels of sexual activity or interest amongst asexuals. Humans are complex creatures, after all; often more complex than society’s standards allow for.  As microcosms of the greater American culture, college campuses often also perpetuate stringent social expectations. Although college is often portrayed as a boundless opportunity for self-exploration and growth, if you listen close enough, you hear the rumblings of a darker undertone. To explore, but within the confines of what’s expected. To keep up with your peers. To be the quintessential, fun, young adult. For an asexual, the pressure to assimilate pervades in one of the most intimate parts of life, planting a seed of doubt so deeply sown, it can be hard to ever remove. However, true self-discovery aligns itself with self-knowledge, and it is with this that I urge you all, asexual or otherwise, to hold onto what you know to be true, and to never let anyone take that from you.

If you know you are not someone who feels the need to have sex, then don’t. Don’t let someone tell you that it’s wrong, or not normal, or to coerce you into behaving differently. There is nothing wrong with being different. To be “Other” is to be an individual, to have a special hold on yourself the uniform pack may not. As a broader message, never assign a person’s worth based on their alignment (or lack thereof) to your behaviors and beliefs. Work towards seeing each other as the complex beings we really are. Once we begin to do this, the pressure of society begins to lift for us all, truly granting us liberation. Regardless of what we do in the nighttime. 

• acceptance
• asexuality
• growing up
• self image
• sexuality