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The first step to being a better feminist is an easy one: know the definition and its implications! A feminist is a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. This means that the sexes are equal in merit and quality, so you absolutely cannot cross the line into misandry. This means you don’t shame men for being men. You don’t assume all men are jerks who hit or disrespect women, and that all white men deserve whatever negativity they have in their lives. You don’t tell men they only got a high position or other reward because they’re a man, and you don’t act aggressively towards them when their behavior doesn’t warrant it. And one last thing: men can have problems. They can experience a lot of heartbreak, trauma, and pain. It may not be due to their gender, but an important step in being a better feminist is knowing that we’re all only human, and respecting them as much as we want to be respected.
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I think mutual respect is probably one of the simplest ideologies to follow. And it also ties into my next point on the double-edged sword of gender roles. Gender roles are hurtful and of course negatively impact the way women are viewed in society, but they also negatively impact men. Men are taught not to show emotion, that they have to be strong, and that they have to be hyper-masculine. Men who are sexually abused are often not taken as seriously as women, and many men do not get full custody of their children because mothers are often favored. So while women are not taken as seriously as men and often experience objectification in their career field and in the media, it is important to keep a level head and to remind any potential meninist you run into: you understand that gender roles are harmful to everyone, and that getting rid of them benefits all genders and sexes.
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Speaking of inclusion, intersectionality is also a key aspect of being a proper feminist. But it’s extremely crucial that if you know white women make 77 cents to the white man’s dollar, that black women make 65 cents to it, and that Hispanic women make 53 cents to it. You should understand how sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ageism, ableism and classism all play a role in the inequality of women to men. If you aren’t trans, don’t speak for trans women. If you’re white, don’t speak for women of color. If you are not part of a discriminated population, you will not understand the struggles they go through, so do not try to speak for them. Just try to learn as much as possible from them in order to better understand and help them in their cause to the best of your ability.
Inclusivity is necessary for feminism to be truly progressive. That’s why it’s also vital to remember what’s going on in women’s rights beyond Western culture. While it’s important to object to the sexism around you, we must remember those who have it even worse than we do. Women in the third world countries and the Middle East must fight for the access to education, to be able to work, to get out of child marriage, the right to their bodies, and to live their lives as they choose. If you are fighting for women’s rights locally, that’s amazing, and you should continue, but stepping out of your own world and into the lives of women across the globe who are struggling is essential in the fight for equality.
Last but not least, it is imperative to be respectful of those who are learning more about feminism, and to be open to learning yourself. Screaming at someone for making a mistake is only going to push people away from learning. Educating people without being pedantic, condescending, or mean is only going to be beneficial to making people more aware of the importance of feminism. At the same time, you also must always be open to learning. No one knows everything, and you could be shutting yourself off to some truly wonderful educational experiences and new perspectives if you never give anyone a chance to challenge your beliefs and opinions. When everyone is open to the thoughts of others and everyone treats each other with mutual respect, we can only build each other up.
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