How to (Savagely) Address the Moans from Above

A freshman student at Whitman College shared with me her brilliant method of addressing the constant love-making that occurred in the dorm above her. She composed a beautiful, yet savage, poem that she then tact to the door of the noisy lovers:

Dearest Gentlemen,

To whichever one of you

Who has serenaded our ears

With late-night moaning

And creaking

And love-making cheers

We ask not

That you cease

Your breathless carousing 

Carry on

With whatever you think is arousing!

But on the other hand

We simply must offer this dare:

Let us see

If you can last

More than five minutes

Up there.

Take care!

I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a better way to get someone to pipe down during sex.

~ MW

• love
• sex