women, men, and gossip
It’s no secret that it’s not a compliment to be called a busybody or a gossiper, but rumor has it that gossip is not as bad as we may think. Gossip may even be a productive and integral part of socialization. While the concept of gossip varies depending on culture, religion, and other personal beliefs, for the sake of the article, I will loosely define gossip as an informal conversation about people or events, and everyone knows it is not a crime we are unfamiliar with. As a matter of fact, despite the false narrative women are known for gossiping, studies show men and women gossip about the same. For more on gossip gender-based experiments and results. So, if men and women gossip around the same amount, what is it that dictates the notion that women are notorious for spreading rumors and engaging in gossiping behavior.
A key difference is in the way men’s gossip and women’s gossip are perceived by society. Gossip is not always negative, and it was at one point recognized as such. It was not uncommon for people to congregate with friends and talk about socially relevant topics, such as art, politics, others around them, and their opinions on all such things. However, the effects of sexism had significant consequences on this. From the same thoughts and fears that sparked the Salem witch trials, that women congregating could be dangerous, to fear of being talked about negatively in such conversations, or the reality that men see their gossip as more important and less trivial than the gossip of women.
Another vital aspect to consider when thinking about the role of gossip is the fact talking about what others have done is important in protecting others. Telling others about who may be dangerous to be around lets them know and can protect them. This is especially relevant in the case of women who may rely on the knowledge of other women to be able to judge situations with someone they do not know well and make a well-informed decision on how to keep themselves safe. Another great Her campus article on gossip and how it can be productive.
This does not mean that gossip is always positive; while gossip is, in fact, a crime we are all familiar with, it is also not a victimless crime. Talking about others in a hostile and unnecessary way can fall under the wide umbrella of gossip. Overall, while gossip may not be all that negative, it is important to evaluate the intention behind the things you say and take accountability for times when we, as people, make the mistake of engaging in unkind and harmful behavior. Also, to understand that gossip has saved lives and there are times when it is appropriate and helpful to share your knowledge with others without shame or fear of being a gossiper. So yes, it is okay to grab lunch with your friends and talk, even if you name-drop; it is a part of human socialization.