The Talking Phase: How to Deal

So, let’s talk about the “talking stage”- a new and confusing definition added to hookup culture thanks to the newest generation. When the phrase comes up in conversation and your out-of-the-loop aunt asks, “what’s the talking stage?” it takes a minute to come up with an answer. How do we define it? Let’s see… it’s just when you start talking to someone and getting to know them to see if you want to start dating. Exclusive? Well, no. So just FWB? Nope, not that either.

I asked my bestie (who claims to have been in a lot of “talking-ships”, as she likes to call it) what she thinks on the matter. The first thing she said was, “I’m 100% a Pro-talker.” She loved the idea of the talking stage and proclaimed all the wins and losses that come with it. 

Pro: Casual

To start off, its causal asf. You truly do not have to put a lot of hard work into talking to someone. You both hold less accountability for your actions because the other has no right to complain. Why? Because you’re only “talking.” If you did mention anything, you could sound  ‘clingy’. (Why are there so many rules to this, and who wrote them?)

Con:  Hard to Keep a Virtual BF

Most of all the “talking” anyone is doing is over the phone because going out is a dating thing, right? It puts too much pressure on the couple, deciding what’s a date and what isn’t. So, it normally means more causal hangouts and talking via technology. That’s why my bestie likes to call it a “virtual relationship.” At first the Snapchatting and flirting can be fun, but then what’s next? It’s getting old. We need face to face conversations, please!.

There are also many pressures that make it hard to keep the talking-ship alive because it is so easy to end it since you technically aren’t dating. Unfortunately pressures of what to say, when to say it, and who to say it to, get in the way.

Let’s just bring back 90s romance. Don’t you agree? 

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