Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
sabrina carpenter kissing an alien at the VMAs
sabrina carpenter kissing an alien at the VMAs
MTV
Wellness > Sex + Relationships

THE RED FLAGS I MISSED (THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO)

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rollins chapter.

I’m just going to say it – most guys suck. Finding a great guy in this generation is nearly impossible. It feels like you’re running headfirst into a field of red flags, and I’ll be real, I’ve missed almost every single one. I was naive only seeing the best in every guy. I used to convince myself that “he would never do me like that.” Spoiler alert: he did. I couldn’t see the red flags even when they looked me right in the face. 

After having gone through some eye-opening experiences, it’s safe to say I’ve learned to recognize the red flags I kept missing. Here are a few that I’ve noticed:

IF HE’S A PISCES BORN IN MARCH 

This one is VERY specific, but I have my reasons. I don’t know too much about zodiac signs, but one thing I’ve learned for sure is that Pisces men are a no-go. Maybe it was just my horrible taste in men, but somehow, 3/4 of my past relationships were with Pisces men born in March, and all of them had the same tendencies. They were all liars. They all had anger issues. And all of them were controlling. Enough said. The lesson learned was NEVER again. 

“I’M NOT LIKE THE REST” 

If a guy says this, believe him – he’s not like the rest; he’s worse! Any guy who insists he’s “not like the rest”, or “would never do you like that”, 9/10 will do you like that. 

Almost every guy has that phrase in their back pocket. It’s really just a cheap attempt to persuade us into giving them a chance, which I might have fell for… more than a few times. 

IF HE’S FRIENDS WITH AN EX OR SOMEONE HE USED TO TALK TO 

If he’s friends with his ex or someone he used to have feelings for, chances are one of them still has feelings for the other. If you ask him about it he might say things like “It’s not like that”, but most of the time it is like that. Trust me, the relationship was over before it even started.

IF HE’S A LITTLE TOO PERFECT IN THE BEGINNING

If he seems a little too perfect right off the bat, he’s probably love-bombing you. Some guys will give you their all at the start, showering you with compliments and sweet gestures to win you over. But once they’ve got you, you can kiss that “perfect guy” goodbye. Almost every guy I dated did this, and absolutely none of them ended up being the sweet and “perfect” guy that they were in the beginning.

APOLOGIZES WITHOUT CHANGing

I had to learn this the hard way… it’s manipulation. He had me believing that he would change and get better at communicating. He promised that he’d work on it, but of course, he didn’t. 

If he’s constantly apologizing without following-through, it’s time to recognize it for what it really is. He’s just telling you what you want to hear.

IF HE FOLLOWS EVERY GIRL’S SPAM

RUN. If you’re scrolling through his following and your’e seeing spam after spam after spam, its time to unfollow and block. He’s way too friendly and definitely not the one for you. Don’t even consider it.

IF HE MAKES EVERYTHING SEXUAL

Girl, he does not want to get to know you and is definitely only there for one thing. You should never take these type of guys serious. If he cannot have a conversation without turning it into something sexual, he is not emotionally mature enough so don’t even waste your time.

Jayla Cargill is a freshman at Rollins College in Winter Park, Fl, and a first year writer for Her Campus magazine. Originally from The Bahamas, she is exploring her passion for communications and has set her sights on a major in this field. Her previous experiences include internships at both a law firm and an event planning firm where she gained valuable insights into professional environments that reflect her career aspirations. Beyond Her Campus, Jayla is a member of the Black Student Union (BSU), the Rollins Baking Club, and EMBARK, a program dedicated to supporting students from underrepresented backgrounds. In her free time, Jayla enjoys spending time with friends, listening to music, drawing, and attending concerts. She is happiest by the water, whether it be by the pool or the beach (9/10 that is where you can find her), and loves Starbucks. Fun fact, her go to Starbucks drink is an iced matcha latte with a shot of espresso, vanilla syrup, and matcha cold foam on top.