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Life

Getting Rejected from Grad Schools

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rowan chapter.

Ever since I was in high school I was that girl. I’m a perfectionist, an extrovert, and always had the awful habit to try to get everyone to like me. If something in my life is less than perfect it would annoy me until I either fixed it or cut it out of my life entirely. My life isn’t perfect by any means but, I strive to be successful.

When I decided that I was going to apply to graduate school I felt like it was natural for me to aim high. I’ve got a high GPA, I’m heavily involved in school and I felt like I could make a portfolio that could wow the admissions committee. I didn’t think that I’d get into every single grad school but, I was sure that I would be able to get into a really good college.

Then the rejections started rolling in.

To be blunt, I applied to ten schools ranging from schools that were “reaches”, schools that I believed I could get into, and “safety” schools. So far I heard back from five schools and I was rejected from all of them. Yikes! Don’t get me wrong; I’m lucky. All of the schools that I heard back were reach schools and I still have a chance to get into another program. But, I can’t help but feel like my world has turned upside down.

Because of this, I started to feel really insecure about my academic and extracurricular activities. When I was in high school I became my class president. About a week after the news came out I was in the computer lab when a teacher started talking about the election. After, I told her that I was lucky to win she, very sarcastically, told me that she hoped that I wasn’t peaking. I don’t know why she would say that to me. I felt like she was telling me that she thought I was some sort of stereotype of a popular girl whose life ended while she was in high school. It was such a small comment but it really hurt to hear.

And now that I’m in this position where I can’t help but remember what she said to me. I feel as though all my successes are secretly just because I convinced people to like me. My good grades, club positions, and everything else in my life are because I’m a charming (if not pitiful) person and convinced people to give me an up in life.

Logically I know this isn’t true but, it’s like my brain can’t put one and two together. I’ve got a really bad case of imposter syndrome and it’s starting to impact me in different ways. Academically I can’t trust myself because I feel like I’m a bad student. I’m anxious and shaky because I don’t know what the future hold for me and I’m genuinely unsure of myself. It’s a weird feeling.

Still, I try to look on the bright side of all this. This is such a formative time period for me and I can’t help but be grateful for this experience. I don’t think that I’ll ever stop being a perfectionist but, I am learning how to fail gracefully. Up until now, I thought that failure was a world-ending thing but it’s not. Failure, rejection, and surprises are unfortunates parts of life. But, slowly I’m starting to accept this.

Destiny is currently enrolled in Columbia University's MFA Writing program. She is a national writer at Her Campus and the former editor-in-chief of Her Campus Rowan. She likes thrifting, romance novels, cooking shows, and can often be found binging documentaries.