TW: sexual harassment, assault
I had been sexually harassed by a former classmate once. He asked me via text to take his virginity (and vice versa) and when I said no, responded something along the lines of, “If you’re not going to feel that way about me, who will feel that way about YOU?”, but worse. In the heat of the moment, I gave my phone to my friends, who had choice words for him, before reporting him to Public Safety. Now looking back, I probably would not have gone that far, as I refused to press Title IX-related charges against him, but I could have.
And so can you.
Before I continue much further, let me explain what Title IX is. Title IX is a federal law that prohibits discrimination in schools on the basis of sex. Examples of such include sexual harassment, both physically and verbally (which I experienced). To take it a step further, sexual harassment can be unwanted touching/groping, penetration, oral sex, and/or sodomy, but it could occur simply when one makes derogatory comments towards another who finds them uncomfortable. Title IX also protects female students from unfair treatment due to them being pregnant or previously having given birth.
To anyone who experiences unwanted sexual advances, I strongly suggest that you make it pretty damn clear that the person(s)’s actions are unwanted and unacceptable. If they persist and/or refuse to take a hint, then consider filing a formal complaint. That’s what I did, but I was caught so off guard, and a Public Safety Officer was nearby, that I was unable to process the situation. Rather than discussing it with my friends, or members of my family, I reported the incident to the authorities. I didn’t pursue the matter further, although I could have, universities such as the one I was attending at the time didn’t seem to handle reports of sexual misconduct properly.
During my tenure at my old school, I heard a lot of rumblings about students’ rapists freely roaming the campus like nothing ever happened. Just the thought of that made my stomach turn. College campuses need to do more to protect all of their students from potential retaliation from assailants and their peers. They also must understand that not all cases involve penis in vagina penetration. At the aforementioned university, a freshman female student was arrested for sexually assaulting her roommate while under the influence of alcohol and marijuana. Fortunately, in that case, justice was served to the victim; however, I honestly wouldn’t see that happening if a man took advantage of the other female student.
Let’s not forget that sexual misconduct does not discriminate. In fact, it is more likely for students of color, or those who are transgender, to be sexually abused than a white student, especially a male student. However, men can be taken advantage of too, regardless of their sexuality. As students, we are expected to look out for one another and speak out when we see something that strikes us as inappropriate. That’s kind of difficult when others are under the influence and too busy minding their own business to give a shit about you. Maybe if parents raised their sons and daughters better, or they could keep it in their pants, then we wouldn’t have to worry about ourselves.