“I Deduced That I Was Pansexual”: An Interview with My Sister

My little sister and I are polar opposites in almost every way. I’m quiet, she’s loud. I aspire to be a journalist, and she aspires to be an engineer.I’m straight, and she recently came out as pansexual.

Though my sister and I had touched on the subject of her sexuality, I had never sat down and asked her in-depth questions about being pansexual. So I took the opportunity to formally interview her, which was a way for me to learn more about the LGBQT community and about my sister.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

CN: Was there a moment when you found out you weren’t straight?

EN: Being a teen, you see all these kinds of people. You have crushes on people from whatever age, and at some point, I started having attractions to other people who are female. Then I thought ‘Oh, then I’m not just straight… I’m attracted to both (genders)’. By following that idea, I deduced that I was pansexual because it doesn’t matter to me what sex you are.

CN: A lot of people know what being bisexual means, but what does it mean to be pansexual?

EN: Bisexual is being more interested in females and males, while pan is for all those in between. There’s people who are hermaphrodite or intersex… if you were pan, you would have an interest in them. You also hear words such as genderfluid, which refers to not just male and female. Pans would be attracted to them too.

CN: Did you ever have to accept yourself or did you always accept yourself?

EN: Personally, it wasn’t hard for me because I have a good family and the people around me are accepting. One of my friends though, she’s asexual and her family said she had to marry someone in the future due to their customs. For me, what other people think of me doesn’t matter as much. But some people don’t accept it, and I’m just lucky.

CN: Has being pansexual been a huge part of your identity, or would you say it’s something you are but don’t focus on?

EN: It’s a part of you, but I don’t think you should let any singular part of you identify who you are. There’s a bunch of things that define you, such as your personality, your interests, the people you like and hang around with – it’s not just about who you’re attracted to. You’re a person, not just a sexuality you identify as.

Sexuality is very complex, and something that even my sister and I don’t fully understand about ourselves. All I know is that I was glad that we were able to talk about it, and that we were close enough that she was able to open up about how she felt about herself and who she was attracted to. The key point I want to make though is that everyone’s story is different – my sister is pansexual but that doesn’t mean she shares the same views as others who also identify as pan. For this month, I encourage others to also continue the dialogue and be able to learn about the full spectrum of the LGBTQ community, as well as other points of views.

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• LGBTQ+
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• sister