When you visit New Jersey from another state, you probably don’t expect that much of a change in culture. After all, it’s just another part of America, right?
Wrong! We’ve established quite the reputation in our history as the third state to be ratified in 1790. Here are a few things you should know about our humble home on the east coast.
1. Don’t ask about taylor ham or pork roll
New Jersey likes to do a funny thing with what we call the cold cuts on our bagel sandwiches– and it’s called not agreeing. The top end of Jersey will always say Taylor Ham– while the southern tip likes to guise it as Pork Roll. Why? The world may never know.
We don’t recommend asking about it… for your own health and sanity. Doing so will open up an ages-old can of worms that you probably won’t be able to close. Proceed with caution!
2. Don’t scoop your bagels, and they must be fresh/unpackaged (NO THOMAS BRAND BAGELS!)
if New Jersey is known for one thing, it’s the fresh bagels at every corner of every town. Your local breakfast place probably has some incredible handmade dough-y delights. Well, don’t get too comfortable with them if you plan on leaving anytime soon, because unfortunately, this is a strictly Jersey thing. When you cross into New England territory, it’s all pre-made, packaged bagels– which is just an abomination to any Jerseyan!
Spare yourself the torture and do not invest in packaged bagels in Jersey. Go to your nearest bagel shop or breakfast joint and indulge in real bagel goodness!
3. North, central, and south jersey exist (depending on who you talk to)
So…back to not agreeing, this is another argument we like to have. Why does it matter how the state is split, you ask? Because when someone asks you what part of Jersey you’re from, you can’t really just say a town. There has to be a reference point, and that reference point has to be somewhere…thus, North, Central, and South Jersey were born.
However, they don’t really coexist– at least, not to most of us. So, regardless of who you ask and what you hear, just bear in mind that you may never understand Jersey’s geographical layout, and thats okay!
4. Expect some funny stuff when you’re on the highway (but please don’t take out your phone to take a photo)
If you’re feeling alone on Valentine’s day year after year, don’t worry– the turnpike will comfort you in your times of sadness. The signs on New Jersey’s most populated highways are sure to generate a laugh, because this past love day, they reminded us that even if we have no one to be held by, our seatbelts will do it for us.
So wholesome, so Jersey, right!?
They do this for other occasions, too! So be sure to take a look whenever you’re crossing through. And remember, do NOT take your phone out to grab a picture! (Not just because you need to drive safe, but also because highway patrol is really cracking down on people who do that here).
Take it from them, texting and driving gives them the ick!
5. Speeding is okay and encouraged (Not really, but really)
Last but not least, we endorse our favorite stereotype of not knowing how to drive by explicitly embracing this one fact: we do not take kindly to speed limits.
That’s right! They are suggestions. If someone is going 25 MPH in a 25, they are wrong. We always assume that they’ve either learned nothing from driving around here, or are simply not from the area. No one is ever going 65 MPH on the parkway, no one is going 40-50 on route 22, and generally, our motto is that if everyone is speeding, no one will get pulled over for speeding. So if you’re ever around here maintaining a gentle cruise, maybe step on the gas… just a little bit! 30 MPH is better than crawling along, and you will notice a line of angry Jersey drivers accumulating behind you if you don’t. Some of us are too kind to honk, but not all, so don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Although we are pretty ridiculous, us Jerseyans love our home more than anything. We have a soft spot for all of the absurd havoc we wreak. If you’ve ever made the delightful choice of coming to Jersey long-term from another state, becoming immersed in the culture we’ve developed is an absolute must!
And if you’re from another country, well…buckle up and enjoy the ride. Literally!