Dating is an ever-changing field of confusion. There’s always new protocol being thrown in and it can all be difficult to navigate. One of the biggest challenges of it all is forming your own opinions about who to date, how you date, and most importantly, what dating looks like to you.
Recently, a friend of mine went on a date and did not say much about it beforehand. Of course she is entitled to her privacy; she wanted to keep this experience to herself and form her own opinion of the guy she was meeting for the first time. However, even with what little details she shared with my friend and I, we quickly realized she was definitely going out with someone one of us had already been out with before. We immediately called her and told her about what we figured out. Yet, by that time, she was already on the date. Later, when she came back we had a good laugh and she told us about how the date went. (Unfortunately, it did not go well.)
Now, if she had told us more about this guy before the date, we could have easily warned her not go out with him. However, she prefers to keep her dating life on the private side. There are pros and cons with this approach. For example, maybe it is for the better to shut out outside opinions and rely solely on your own. Dating someone is an intimate experience and one should be able to form their own thoughts and make decisions with who they want to be with.
Despite the fact dating is meant to be between just two people, it may also be helpful to discuss your dating life with close friends. Talking about who you are dating with friends can be a helpful tool to use while navigating your dating life. If you are unsure of something or just want to hear a second opinion apart from your own, your friends can be a reliable source.
Asking for advice from your friends is a great way to navigate potential dilemmas you may encounter. For instance, if you want to determine if it is worth going out on a second date, you may want to discuss the positive and negative of aspects of the date with your friends.
Additionally, even if you are private about who you date, you should at least tell your friends where you are going when you are out on a date. Our friend told us what restaurant and what part of town she was heading to just so she felt safe if anything bad were to happen. This is a safe precaution to takeā€”especially when meeting someone for the first time.
Another safety precaution is keeping the date local. If you are going to date privately, it is important to not go too far away from your comfort zone into an unknown place. Meet up at a public spot that you are familiar withā€”like a coffee shop, restaurant, or park. By doing so, you can remain more comfortable and secure at a local location.
Keeping your dating life to yourself is reasonable and completely your decision. You want to be able to decide what works for you and see where it takes you.
Overall, your opinion of who you are dating is what matters most. Only you are experiencing what you feeling when you are dating people, so you should be able to form your judgement of who you are seeing.