Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most sensitive holidays of the year, people are either madly in love or filled with incredible rage, and at the end of the day people never seem to be happy. I have always had a love-hate relationship with the day in question but now that I’m an “adult” I want to look back and reflect on past Valentine’s Days and how they helped shape me into the woman I am today.
As a kid, Valentine’s Day was always a happy occasion. The day before, we would spend hours designing these cute makeshift mailboxes out of aluminum foil and colorful construction paper to bring in to class. After we were happy with our creations, we would proceed to make personalized notes and candy-filled “goodie-bags” to drop into our classmates’ boxes. It was like a second Halloween to us, I usually couldn’t sleep the night before Valentine’s Day because of the overwhelming excitement and anticipation I felt.
I still remember the walk to school holding my pride and joy in between my arms while being weighed down by the formidable grocery bag of pink and red colored candy in my backpack. We would be itching in our seats for the moment when our teachers would release the stampede of kids and we tossed our gifts into the lonely boxes that occupied our empty desks. I miss those days more than I can put into words but Valentine’s Day, to me, has always been about more than just candy and heart-themed coloring pages.
For as long as I can remember Valentine’s Day was a day that my dad would dedicate to showing me how much he loved me. I’m sure many other loving parents showed their affection to their children on Valentine’s Day over the years, but for me it was such a tender gesture that meant so much. I can’t remember a single Valentine’s Day where my dad didn’t greet me in the morning with a mushy card with a short but sweet note on the inside telling me how much he loved me. He would have a gift for me waiting downstairs on the kitchen table, and whether it was a bouquet of flowers or some kind of stuffed animal I would always jump in his arms and give him the biggest hug my little body could muster.
Although my father is no longer here to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, I know that if he was here today he would tell me the same thing he always did: “I love you sweetie.” I treasure the bond that my dad and I shared because even though my life has not always been a smooth ride, I will always have that love. Looking back I know I had a wonderful childhood full of happy memories with my family. They taught me how to love with all my heart and to spread kindness wherever I went.
Valentine’s Day never failed to treat me well, I can honestly say that I can’t remember ever having a bad experience on this love-filled holiday. Sure, when I got older and started thinking about romance I would automatically look at the negative side of Valentine’s Day and how I wanted to be able to call someone mine. But now that I have had time to mature and think about my past I wouldn’t change a thing. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and even though in the moment we may feel defeated and cast aside, tomorrow is just around the corner and the future is bright.
As a college student it can be easy to feel alone despite the crowd of people around you. I have my moments just like anybody, and it can be hard to pull myself out of the hole i’ve dug myself into. Valentine’s Day for many years was a holiday that I despised because it only made me feel more alone than any other day of the year. But I have finally come to terms with the fact that being single is not something to feel ashamed about, and it certainly does not mean there is anything wrong with you. I waited a long time before finding “the one” (I hate to be so cliche but when you’re in love it’s just so hard not to be all sappy) and I’m glad that it turned out the way it did because I could not be happier.
Being in a relationship does not mean that your life is perfect, and it doesn’t mean that all your problems will magically go away. Relationships are hard, you must work on them as you would for anything else you want in life. Relationships are what we make of them and even though everyone loves to show how happy they are on Valentine’s Day don’t let that convince you that you can’t be happy without one. Every person is different and everyone likes different things. I personally enjoy spending time with my significant other on Valentine’s Day because it feels like we are the only two people in the room. Valentine’s Day to me is not just about spending money and going out to a fancy restaurant, it is about being with those I love and loving myself for who I am.
Valentine’s Day has always had the potential to be great, it all depends on you. Before you think about all the reasons why you aren’t happy or how everyone else’s lives seem to be so perfect, take a second to think about all that you do have. Remember the people who never fail to bring a smile to your face. Remember the people who love you unconventionally despite any and all flaws you might think you have. Remember those who are no longer in your life, and silently send them your love. But most of all remember to love those around you because all it takes is a little kindness to make someone’s day, especially if they are feeling so alone.