The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Sacred Heart chapter.
When we’re children, we often think that you’re an adult once you reach your twenties; You should be a homeowner with a family by then. However, these are just two goals of familial and societal expectations: idealized and unrealistic. This is due to a lack of understanding of the reality of being in your twenties. Young adults have the responsibilities of an adult but are still learning to be one. Many 20-somethings feel the immense pressure of goals to strive for while we’re still at such a young age, and luckily, the older we get, the more we will realize the self-imposed and societal pressures are pointless. We will get there on our own time.
- Always listen to your intuition: Intuition, also known as gut feeling, will help you make better decisions and warn you of potential dangers or risks before your conscious mind fully processes them, thus keeping you safe.
- Treat Yo Self/Me Time: “Treat Yo Self” is a holiday created by characters Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford from the show Parks and Rec (one of my favorites). It is a day to indulge in consumerist urges and buy things you normally wouldn’t. This coincides with me time. Having time for yourself and buying things that you have been wanting is okay. It doesn’t hurt to take a day off, or even a few hours off. It alleviates stress and gives you time to reflect on your day. Not only that, but it gives you temporary joy just for that moment. We all need to take some time for ourselves after a busy day or week.
- Always touch grass: Stop doom-scrolling. Go outside, be one with nature, take a breath, walk, and participate in physical activities in the real world. Personally, I reduced my social media use when I was around seventeen for multiple reasons. I never had much of an interest in showcasing my life to those I barely knew. I tried, but it simply wasn’t for me. During the pandemic, I was in my early twenties and began to engage with social media more, especially to post everything I was cooking. I had something I wanted to show—a new skill—but after a year and a half, I had already finished watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” That was when I heavily reduced all my online engagement for good. I use it every once in a blue moon and typically for less than 30 minutes. Doom-scrolling is real. So, readers, take this message with you: Touch grass and be aware of your surroundings.
- Give yourself grace. It’s ok to be sad but never wallow: Acknowledge and accept your emotions without judging yourself. Allow yourself to process your feelings and move forward. In contrast, wallowing can prevent emotional growth, have the negative outweigh the positive, and impact mental health by worsening your mood and contributing to depression.
- It’s okay to say NO: Everybody has boundaries, and it’s okay to make decisions for yourself. Maintain those boundaries and protect yourself. No need to please, prioritize your needs.
- It’s never too late to try something new: Learning and personal growth are an ongoing process throughout life. Your age shouldn’t limit your ability to experience new things or challenges. You can also try something new, whether it be food, yoga, or even a new hairstyle. This coincides with #7.
- Stay curious and keep learning/change with change: Curiosity can help you open up to new experiences, perspectives, and opportunities. If you ever thought about going back to school or learning how to play the piano, don’t wait; just do it. It can be scary and uncomfortable at first, or maybe difficult, but there is always someone to help you figure things out. Once you adjust to the new experience, you will be a master. Be explorative and open-minded! Change can be hard, but it should be welcomed and embraced. The world is forever evolving, and you should evolve with it too!
- Learn from your experiences: Both positive and negative experiences are valuable opportunities for learning and growth.
- If you want something…you must work for it: There are no shortcuts to success, and you must actively put in the work to attain what you want. Sure, it’s easier to have things handed to you but you won’t feel accomplished. Achieving any goal or dream requires effort, patience, perseverance and struggle. But success feels much better when it is worked for. This is a lesson I will never forget and continue to implement it in my daily life.
- Find balance in life: A balanced life means to equally distribute your energy among things that assist you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s all about working hard to play hard. Allow time for yourself while taking care of responsibilities to prevent burnout and neglect of personal needs.
- Be the Early Bird. In general, people who adopt something early or arrive first usually have an edge over latecomers. This coincides with #12.
- Time is valuable: We use our time to eat, sleep, work, and accomplish tasks. Time is limited, so make the most of it because every moment in your life matters.
- Take accountability: Many people are quick to blame others for their misfortunes, bad choices, and situations. In reality, they sometimes just need to take a look in the mirror. The truth is, each of us is responsible for ourselves and needs to accept the outcome of our actions and choices. Accountability for your own actions is an important part of maturing and understanding that each choice you make has a consequence is something you can never forget.
- Life is unpredictable: One of the valuable lessons that everybody learns is that life doesn’t always go the way we want. As Forrest Gump said best, “Life is (or was) like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get.”
- Nobody knows what they’re doing: You are not born knowing what to do or who you want to be. For example, if you hope to pursue teaching, it’s not guaranteed that you’ll know how to be a teacher or have your own classroom provided. Even after obtaining a teaching degree, you might feel lost or experience imposter syndrome. We are all at different levels of accepting the unpredictable aspects of life. You will figure it out as you move on, and you might change directions.
- Not everyone will like you: Be true to yourself and the people who are meant to be in your life will gravitate towards you. I was told (a couple of times) that nobody is going to like me if A, B, or C, etc. Soon after, I learned that it’s okay for some people to disagree with you, have different opinions, or simply not enjoy your company. Don’t conform to anyone or anything.
- Not all feelings are mutual: Pay attention to how someone treats you in different situations and whether their behavior aligns with their words. People can have different expectations and levels of closeness in friendships. Many friendships I’ve had have been one-sided and temporary. I have only had two friendships that lasted an extensive amount of time. Towards the end of my last two friendships, I felt that I was more comfortable alone. I always felt like a burden to them or felt that they didn’t feel the same way I did. Ultimately, I began enjoying my alone time and privacy. So, when those two friendships ended with both of them blocking and ghosting me (in the same year, and they didn’t know each other), even though the last conversations we had were positive, I realized it was for the best. Things ended abruptly and I tried reaching out to understand why the friendships ended the way they did because I didn’t want to have a long friendship end that way. I decided to just let them go. Overall, communication is key, and you should not assume the depth of a relationship without actively confirming it.
- Friendships come and go: It took me some time to learn that when you grow up, your friends do too. Everyone has a different path in life and takes a different route than you. Friends sometimes drift away, some you let go, and others will let you go. Some things happen for a reason. There is always time for new connections.
- There are two different types of “family.” The one you were born in and the one you make: Although you may have been born into a family, you can still form a family later on through close relationships with the people you choose.
- Learn to cook: Learning to cook can save you money, help you be more independent, express your creativity, and eat healthier. It is an essential skill to have. You will never go hungry once you have mastered the skill of culinary arts.
- Save and Invest: Saving money will help you tremendously in life. However, it is not just about saving money; it is also about using what you have at home, shopping consciously, cooking, budgeting, determining financial priorities, buying in bulk, and buying generic brands. By saving money, you can achieve your goals more quickly, alleviate some financial stress, and accumulate more savings to cover future expenses. Additionally, investing can be an effective way to utilize the money you have saved and earned. For example, university is an investment because you are working towards a degree that will make you qualified for the field in which you want to have a career in. An investment in your education is an investment in your future. By investing early over time, your money grows in value.
- Travel: I never traveled out of the country or by myself before, until last spring semester. It was a life-changing experience that was both healing and rewarding. I studied abroad in Dingle, Ireland; an opportunity I never thought possible because of my financial circumstances. It took a lot of research, understanding, and networking to finally make my decision. It was definitely a risk (especially financially), but it was a risk I was glad to take because I knew I would have regretted missing the opportunity. I was nearly done with my degree and unsure if I would pursue my master’s degree, or if I would be financially able to return to college or university. My former community college had limited opportunities to study abroad, so I never even batted an eye at the opportunity because I knew that couldn’t be me. However, SHU’s study abroad programs were different. There were plenty of them and the university encouraged students to take advantage of the opportunities. After considering my current situation, I spoke to the director of the Office of Global Education, Renee Pang. She was so patient, kind, and understanding. She gave me some comfort in knowing that I was not alone and that other students had experienced the same predicament as I did. After reviewing the overall cost and applying, I made the final decision to pay the program fee. At that point, I knew I couldn’t turn back (or I would lose money). All things considered, I encourage everyone to take that chance and study abroad if your school offers it.
- “Don’t lose your dinosaur:” This quote and important life lesson comes from the movie Step Brothers. It is one of my favorite movies. It is a reminder to not give up on your dreams or passions, even if others judge you. As life goes on, we have to grow up and change with the world while still maintaining a sense of playfulness, curiosity, and joy that is often associated with childhood. Similarly, the movie Big touches on this type of message with a twelve-year-old Josh wanting to grow up fast and missing the most important years of his life, reminding us of the innocence of youth and the overwhelming pressure that comes with adulthood and losing our youth.
- Don’t wait for the “perfect moment” (something I’m still struggling to learn and adapt to): If you wait too long, you will lose your opportunity or miss your moment. There have been many times that I have missed an opportunity or waited too long to use something. One issue is that I am a big saver, and not just with money. It’s usually because I am very forgetful, or because I wait until something better comes along (it rarely does). It screws me in the end because I think about regret when I could’ve taken said opportunity. The big takeaway here is to focus on taking action while being mindful of important considerations like timing and circumstances, as the perfect moment rarely arrives.
You’re only in your twenties once, so make the most of it. Live in the present moment and stop comparing your life to the lives of others. It’s important to remember the importance of self-care, focusing on personal growth, and embracing your surroundings. These life lessons can help you navigate the challenges that life and young adulthood bring to reach your full potential.