The Importance of Self Love

Self – love. It’s a term we see thrown around online time and time again… but what is it? How do you practice self love? 

Everyone’s journey to self love will look different, but speaking from personal experience, I can tell you it’s not always easy. Learning to love yourself in a society with high expectations and consumed by social media can feel impossible. It took me 21 years, a series of bad relationships, toxic friendships, and failures for me to finally learn to love myself. 

Growing up my friend groups changed pretty frequently. I could never quite find where I fit in and I felt like I was always chasing after acceptance. I needed affirmation that I was liked; though, in doing so, I lost sight of myself. I changed who I was to please others and rather than feeling well liked, I felt insecure about how others perceived me. 

It wasn’t until I went away to college and had the opportunity to meet new people that I came to the realization that I had never really found myself, let alone loved myself. At Sacred Heart I finally found friends who accepted me for who I was and did nothing but lift me up. I started cutting off toxic people from my past and pursuing things that made me happy. I started to learn things about myself, and in doing so, took the first steps towards self love. 

My journey to self love didn’t take place overnight…. It’s ongoing and probably always will be. While everyone’s journey will undoubtedly look different, here are some steps I took to start mine: 

Stop comparing yourself to others: Nothing good will come of comparing yourself to others. Ever. There is no one else on the planet quite like you, so it is unfair to compare yourself to anyone else. Celebrate your wins, accept your failures, and embrace your individuality. 

Confidence: Having confidence in not only your body but your abilities is essential. It can be challenging, especially as a young woman, to not compare myself to others on social media. Society has viciously associated beauty with a number on a scale… and it took me a while to overcome this mindset. I started doing things that made me feel confident in myself. I experimented with fashion, I started journaling – jotting down goals and documenting small accomplishments, I changed my eating habits and learned to find pleasure in exercise, and I pushed myself harder than ever in school… I was determined to prove to myself that I could do anything I put my mind to, and I did. 

Let go of toxic friendships/relationships: Someone who brings you down, tries to change you, or passes harsh judgements upon you, is not worth having in your life. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and uplift you. I wasted years of my life trying to be someone else to please people who didn’t have my best interests at heart. I learned first handedly just how harmful toxic relationships can be; and while it was a difficult lesson to learn, I came out stronger on the other side. Surround yourself with the right people, it will make all the difference. 

Enjoy your own company: Learn to be able to enjoy your own company. When I was younger, I felt a need to go out every night and be social… doing anything less would be lame, right? Wrong. During the early months of the pandemic, when essentially the whole world went into lockdown, I was initially depressed.. as were most people; however, with time I learned to enjoy my own company. I started reading more, trying out new hobbies, pampering myself with face masks and other at home spa activities, and expanding my movie watch list. Don’t rely on others to make you happy, being able to be happy on your own is essential. 

Putting yourself first is never selfish, it’s healthy. I truly believe self love is the key to achieving happiness. In order to be able to be a good friend, a good partner, and a good student, you have to be good to yourself first. You can’t be there for others if you aren’t there for yourself. While the past year has been challenging for us all, I’ve worked hard to better myself. I’m the happiest i’ve ever been: in part because of the excellent people in my life, but I learned to take responsibility for my happiness.