A friend who went on a date over the weekend told me she “kinda got laid”. I was very confused. My friend further elaborated that because there was no sexual intercourse, the act could simply not be defined as sex. Unavoidably, the statement leads to an argument of what defines sex. “Sex” is a terminology which we use almost on a daily basis and yet no clear definition seems to be drawn. So let us ask ourselves a question, what exactly is sex?
According to John Bancroft, a psychiatrist and ‘sexologist’, “In most species, sexual behavior principally serves the purposes of reproduction. In humans, and in some other primates, other purposes for sexual behavior in addition to reproduction have evolved.” When sex is mentioned in human society, most would think about more than just simple biological sexual reproduction.
Even when one argues sex can only be considered as sexual intercourse, there are still challenges to define what is sexual intercourse. Hence “defining sex, especially in human society requires a more philosophical aspect. It is difficult, if not impossible, to define what sex is,” according to philosphy professor Raja Halwani, who teaches at SAIC. However, scholars have pointed out certain concepts of sex, such as the “sexual act”, “sexual behaviors”, ”sexual desire” and “sexual pleasure”.
As confusing as it might sounds, “sexual behaviors” and “sexual acts” are two terminologies that sound similar, yet overlap each other differently. When defining “sexual acts,” one can consider any act that has a sexual behavior in it as sexual. However, it is not always the case. All definitions of any sexual act or behaviors must be considering all the criteria, whether a circumstance can be considered as sexual or not will have to based on its context. For example, during a doctor’s examination, an act that can usually be considered as sexual such as inserting fingers into the vagina is not sexual.
“Perhaps an act is sexual if it involves or produces sexual pleasure,” says Halwani. Still, it does not mean producing sexual pleasure is necessary for an act to be sexual. Despite all the possibilities to consider in one situation, “It is plausible to say that producing sexual pleasure is sufficient for an act to be sexual, as long as we are clear on the distinction between acts and experience,” he continues.
Philosopher Alan Goldman had suggested his definition of “sexual desire” as folows, “sexual desire is the desire for contact with another person’s body and for the pleasure which such contact produces”. While such a definition might be considered clear, the difficulty lies in pointing out obvious counterexamples, in addition to knowing whether this definition is helpful or informative. The arguments continued, the conclusion of the concept of “sex” and almost sexual terminology is almost impossible to dissolve as an absolute definition.
It might seem pointless to discuss; even the specialists have difficulties drawing the line, however, it is important to clarify that the purpose of this article is not meant to educate the reader, but to raise awareness on the importance of being sexually knowledgeable. Such knowledge does not only benefit scholars in their research field, but also individuals in certain legal circumstances. Sufficient knowledge, not just in the sexual studies but in every field is crucial as it’s not only a way of self-improvement but also a protection for oneself under any occurrences. Or specifically in the case, being sexually knowledgeable can be helpful even just in this daily life argument of whether someone got laid or not.
Read more. Trust me, study never hurts.
Sources used:
Bancroft, John. “Biological Factors in Human Sexuality.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 39, no. 1, 2002, pp. 15–21. JSTOR, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/3813418.
Halwani, Raja. Philosophy of Love, Sex, And Marriage. Routledge, 2018.
Goldman, Alan H. “Plain Sex.” Philosophy & Public Affairs, vol. 6, no. 3, 1977, pp. 267–287. JSTOR, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/2265133.