There is no doubt that long distance relationships are challenging, but they can get substantially harder once the relationship goes international. It takes a whole lot of patience, trust, and hard work to keep a relationship going over such a far distance. From trying to call or text each other during weird hours, going to bed when he is just waking up, and knowing you can’t just hop in your car or fly a couple hours to see him is enough to make some couples want to call it quits.
My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance this semester while he is studying abroad in the UK and I am here in the States. At first, I was really nervous about having to be away from him for so long. However, I’ve learned that with the right attitude, making a long distance relationship work- though it’s not always easy – is very possible. Here are the top 5 things that I learned work the best in a long distance relationship overseas:
1. Communicate daily -Even if it’s just for a little bit. Decide as a pair when you two will talk and for how long. Try to make it a routine thing so you can expect a call/text from them at a certain time so you’re not constantly wondering if you will get to talk to them that day. Also, it’s sometimes nice to change things up a bit – send each other snail mail, emails, or post funny videos to each other’s facebooks. There are even apps that are designed specifically for couples in long distance relationships: Avocado, You & Me, and Between are just to name a few. Communication is the single most important part of being in a long distance relationship; without talking to each other on a somewhat regular basis, there comes miscommunication that could start causing doubts and lead to much bigger problems further down the road. So be sure to set aside a little time each day to talk to each other about how everything’s going. Even a simple, cute text or funny snapchat works wonders! It lets you two know that you’re thinking of each other.
2. Continue to do things together, even though you’re apart. You might think that when you two are living in two completely different countries, separated by two different time zones, that it would be impossible to actually still do things like a couple who sees each other every day does. However, with technology these days, it’s actually quite easy to continue to do things together even when you are miles apart. You can watch a movie together on Netflix, or start reading the same book. You two can even plan a time when you both can cook or grab something to eat (maybe its lunch for you and dinner for him), and then skype each other while you eat – it’s not a real dinner date, but it works!
3. Don’t overthink. Overthinking is probably the worst thing you can do while your significant other is in a different country than you. For one thing, it makes it easy for you to overthink because you don’t know exactly what they are doing every moment of every day (and you shouldn’t.) You need to trust him, just like he needs to trust you. You shouldn’t be texting him “where are you?” 15 times in a row if he isn’t responding to you right away. Overthinking can lead to pointless arguments that probably didn’t even need to happen if you didn’t let your mind wander and think of the worst case scenario. But if you’re honestly upset about something, and it is really bothering you, talk to them about how you are feeling. Let them know right away so you two can talk it out, that way you can fix the problem before it gets any worse.
4. Plan ahead. Being apart for an entire semester (or school year) while one of you is abroad can seem pretty daunting. To make the time apart seem less scary, start planning date ideas for when you finally do get to see each other! Plan a road trip together, or make a list of all the fun things you want to do when you finally get to see each other. That way, instead of spending your time dreading the distance and time you have to spend apart, you have things to look forward to in the future.
5. Stay positive. Sometimes in long distance relationships, there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But try to keep your chin up. You have your friends, family, and fellow belles here to help you whenever you are feeling down or missing your dude. Being apart from the person you love is extremely hard, but it can lead you to have more independence and will show you how much you and your significant other really do love and care about each other.
Long distance relationships are in no way a walk in the park. They take a lot of work, but in the end, they are so worth it. If you two are willing to work it out, you will find that it is a lot easier than people make it out to be. Besides, the best feeling in the world is the moment when you two finally get to see each other after all that time and picking up right where you left off. That’s what love is all about!