I’ve written multiple drafts for this piece. At first I just felt that my writing was off. And then I stopped writing for some time because as I replayed my past four years, I found I was in denial that I only have a few short months left. And as I’m here revisiting this piece yet again, I realize I’ve been struggling so much because my words will never do my time at Saint Mary’s justice. But I guess I’ll give it a go anyway…
Last year I wrote an article for Belles Give Back around a quote President Cervelli asked a group of us last year. She said, “I want to know what brought you down the Avenue, but more importantly what made you stay.”
To put it simply, the quote we’ve all heard from Sister Madeleva so many times is what made me stay.
“We will not promise you happiness. We will not wish you security. For we remember that ‘security is mortal’s chiefest enemy.’ And we know that you can be secure only when you can stand everything that can happen to you. If your school has prepared you for this, it has been a good school. We promise you discovery, the discovery of yourselves, the discovery of the universe, and your place in it.”
Of course I had been bombarded with the “we promise you discovery” part of this since the day I stepped foot on campus in 2014, but it wasn’t until I read the entire quote that it finally resonated with me.
My past four years have been nothing short of amazing but they’ve also been incredibly challenging. Saint Mary’s is an investment, but one well worth it. Eighteen-year-old me had no idea what she was getting herself into. And had you told me the things I would accomplish, the confidence I would gain, and the person I’d become by 21, I probably would have thought you had the wrong person.
Never would I have guessed that I’d be an editor (let alone a writer!) for Her Campus or that I would step into the position of Vice President for RHA my senior year. Adding internships and the completion of my senior comprehensive were things that seemed so far-fetched to me as a first and second year. And traveling through Europe at nineteen? That’s something that I’d always seen more as a dream than a reality.
Saint Mary’s promised me discovery and she’s kept that promise. The path wasn’t easy, and it was far from smooth. I wasn’t always happy and the challenges often pushed me to my limits. But I wouldn’t have grown to embrace the unknown, I wouldn’t have been pushed outside my comfort zone again and again, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without the education and opportunities Saint Mary’s has offered me.
These days I’m wishing I could freeze time as I panic about my future. I keep myself up at night as I think about the limited nights I have left with my friends, the few walks to the Grotto, or the numbered masses held in the Holy Spirit Chapel of Le Mans. And then I remember I’m lucky enough to have so many things to miss.
So there you have it, an attempt to do what I consider close to the impossible. An attempt to answer the question “What does Saint Mary’s mean to you?” An attempt to explain why I love Saint Mary’s. You can’t truly know the impact until you’ve experienced it yourself.