Are you in or are you out? It’s that time of year again. Fall is finally here and winter is creeping up behind it fast, well at least the winter-like weather is. You have sweatshirts demanding to be worn, pumpkin spice flavored EVERYTHING coming back for the holidays and have probably already decided that you are going to be lonely this season. Well turn off those sappy love songs that remind you of your singleness and start taking notes because it’s Cuffing Season! This is the time of year which Sameera Sullivan, psychologist, relationship expert, and CEO of “Lasting Connections” matchmaking service, has defined as “the months when people start looking for someone they can spend those long frigid months with.”
As a college student, I’m sure we have all noticed the increase of couples walking around campus and are hearing stories of our friend’s time spent with a new person in their lives. We all feel like we want someone there at the end of the day to ease our sleep. However, what are you willing to go through to get it? Social media has also been a platform to promote cuffing season. This made-up schedule for the season has been posted on many social network sites. Most of them determine that cuffing season ends in March or April and the outcome is either you gain a relationship with the person you have been spending the past couple of months with or you are left with an unspecified status. Either way, can you tell me that you want to take that risk of being just a seasonal fling? If your answer is no and you just want to avoid it all together, then you came to the right place and I am here to guide you away from cuffing season traps.
Have you ever had a person text or call you with the intention of hanging out during “those” hours. The time period I’m referring to is between 11pm- to dawn. A time where people are expected to be sleeping and preparing for the next day but this person has called to either “Netflix and Chill” or to just “keep you company.” I’m sure the thought has crossed your mind about whether or not the person was genuine in their intentions of hanging out or use these phrases just to elude to something else they desire to do. Yes people, I’m talking about casual sex. Do not be fooled by the fancy wording or persuaded by their slick wording. However, don’t think that every person who texts you at this time has intentions of having sex with you but you should take the time to evaluate your situation. The primary questions to ask yourself are: Do you want their company right now and what are your expectations of the night? If the answer to the first question is no, then I advise you to either reject their offer politely or propose that you guys hang another day that better suits you. It’s very possible that he or she hit you up late and doesn’t have any intention of dating you or pursuing a relationship with you so depending on your judgment choose the right option.
Another way to avoid the uncertainty of cuffing season is pouring into yourself. When you make yourself busy and fill your time with things that you love doing, you simply just might not have the time to entertain anyone. However, don’t think that just because you are busy people won’t still reach out to you. Filling your time with your passions should make you feel more pleased with yourself because you’re preoccupied with something that is important to you. When you reject their offer to hang out, you will now have a solid reason to do so. You can also fill these cold fall and winter months with the company of good friends. This should help dissipate the feeling of loneliness that can creep up during cuffing season. By seeing others happy being coupled up, it can make you wish the same for yourself. Who said that nights had to be spent with a significant other or a friend with benefits? I’m here to tell you that it is definitely possible to be single and just crave the company of a group of friends. Plan a movie night, game night or enjoy yourself in whatever you all decide to do.
The reason why some people want to avoid this all together is because of the damage it does to people that aren’t aware of the unofficial rules of the season. It is commonly expected for neither of the participants to catch feelings so often times, participation is discouraged if you aren’t the type of person that can handle this. Now, that’s not to say that anyone you meet during cuffing season couldn’t be potential. It just means that expectations should be communicated. If during this cuffing season you are just looking for someone to hook up with or go on dates with from time to time, make sure the other person is on the same page as you. You want to avoid situations that cause one person to catch feelings and believe that both of you are taking it in a certain direction when that’s not what you had in mind. The last thing you want is for someone to feel like you led them on. If you are looking for a relationship this cuffing season, communicate that too. I don’t expect you to just go around screaming “I want a relationship” but if there is a person that approaches you, don’t feel like you have to settle for whatever they give you. Just express where you are in terms of a relationship status and you should avoid the miscommunication that frequently takes place during this imaginary draft season. Communication is the key to all good things so when you prioritize it, you should feel satisfied in whichever decision you choose to make. Now it’s time to answer my first question: Are you in or are you out?