Empowerment.
When some people think of this word, a range of things come to mind. Possibly, it could be the empowerment of women or maybe the way Beyonce carries herself. For me, empowerment has always been a new tube of Baby Lips chapstick, being able to vote, or just by dancing away the troubles of life to a Journey or Queen song.
However, empowerment in my life has taken a new form – birth control.
According to the dictionary, empowerment usually refers to power enabled. Even though it’s just a small pack of pills not much bigger than the trackpad on my MacBook, I do feel empowered.
And no, it’s not the hormones.
Empowerment to me is when you’re able to be the driver of your own life, reclaim what is yours, and feel like that you can be the best version of yourself.
When I think about the first time I got my period, I felt horrible, sick, and hopeless. I was too scared to take a pill that I know would alleviate my cramps. I was too scared that I wouldn’t be able to run anymore. I was too scared of what my body was capable of and I let it take control over me and my mind.
I figured out that if I was born to be a woman, I would have to simply but my big grown-up girl pants on and just deal with it.
Before I started taking birth control, it was always a hassle of whenever I would get my period. I couldn’t casually grab a pad out of my backpack or take an Aleve in the middle of class.
Then when I first started dating, I was too scared that one day, I would get pregnant long before I was ready to have a baby.
One day in college, I realized I had enough. Now that I was paying to get an education, I couldn’t afford both metaphorically and literally to miss a day of class. Waking up with cramps that made me want to cry every single time I had them was the final push.
It was as though someone was inside of the elevator of my mind and without hesitation, press all of the buttons at once.
The thing is, women shouldn’t have to feel that they just have to deal with their bodies.
When we are given one body, it’s your body. It’s your own field, with your own rules. You and only you get to decide what’s the best for it.
Every single night, at 11:30 p.m. when I take my birth control pill, I feel bold that I am able to make decisions about what works the best for my body.
I feel brave that I am able to take back control of my body, something I felt I have never been able to do since I was twelve.
Overall, I feel bold and brave that I get to take back what’s mine. And yes, I would choose that feeling over a new tube of chapstick any day of the year.