I think that everyone (even guys) experience losing friends. This is especially true during high school. Ah, high school. High school is a time where everyone is finding themselves. And that might mean that your friends one day, but aren’t your friends the next.
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Try again (and again) or move onÂ
It can be hard to let people go, especially if that friendship has lasted years. I know that this has been true for me on many occasions.
In high school, I made a group of friends that I really liked. Looking back now, I think that I liked them because I had always had the same group of friends as my sister and they looked a lot like me. I’m Hispanic and I’ve never had any Hispanic friends before. I felt like I had finally met people that I could fit in with, but I ignored the warning signs. In the end, my other friends ended up saying how mean this group of friends was and how glad they were that I was no longer part of their group.
When this happens, I think that it is fine to keep trying. Give it your best shot. Try and mend those bridges because friends are great. Having friends is a blessing that can be easily taken advantage of. Try and invite that friend over or go to lunch or plan a shopping trip. (Skip this step if this friend has gotten into anything illegal or is now interested in something that make you uncomfortable.)
Next, if this advice above does not work, then it is okay to move on. Again, it is okay to move on! Try for however long you can tolerate to strengthen that friendship, but after that, move on. Don’t drag yourself through hell putting in all this effort when its not being reciprocated.
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Let it outÂ
Now that you’ve realized that this friendship is over you can mourn. Cry if you need to. Let any emotions out that you have. Ending a friendship is tough and it’s a lot like breaking up with a significant other. Chances are that you spent a lot of time with this person, so it is completely acceptable to be upset about it. Give yourself as much time to mourn as you think you need. If you start to feel drained, or realize that other parts of your life are affected then the mourning period is over.
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Choose happiness
Lastly, do something to cheer yourself up. Again, just like a breakup, you need to go out and get your mind off your ended friendship so that you can move on. Go out with your true friends, join a new club on campus, or maybe treat yourself to a spa day. Whatever you choose, do something that will make you happy. Don’t do anything that you and your former friend once did. Be who you are and stay true to yourself!
Remind yourself that this is not the end of the world. We will meet tons of people throughout our lifetime, but we aren’t meant to be friends with everyone. Sometimes our friends gain different interests that maybe we aren’t interested in or don’t feel comfortable doing. If that is the case then end the friendship; friends need to have common interests in order to keep the friendship. You will make more friends! Don’t settle for friends that are rude to yourself or others. Find friends that respect you and are interested in maintaining a friendship.