When I started my freshman year in Paris, I was in a Business school with just 500 students in classes of 12. I quickly knew everyone, and there were parties every night. I was excited for my first parties as a freshman, but I realized that I would bail most of the time, go home and watch The Hills on my laptop. And it was Heaven. Back then I didn’t really know that I was “an introvert”, and I often mistook my lack of enthusiasm for social gathering as something that was wrong with me.
Moving here and going to a school with tens of thousands of students – on my own – is by far the craziest thing I’ve ever done and I knew that it would be difficult building a social life while staying true to myself. Being an introvert is pretty amazing (give me a blanket, a laptop and headphones and I’m happy), but college, especially in America, is truly an experience that I could not let myself miss, and neither should you. So I gathered a few tricks that helped me get out of my shell and balance the laptop-and-a-blanket moments with great social experiences!
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1- Get up, get moving.
I know it sounds obvious, but it really isn’t. It is so easy to just stay in and be comfortable that it sometimes takes a lot of determination to go out and do other things when classes are over. Even if you just moved and don’t know anyone yet, sitting around in your room all day will not help, as appealing as it sounds. Go on a walk, exercise, go check out new places to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. There are so many things to see! This also helps in small talk: share what you’ve discovered with your new friends!
2- Practise introducing yourself.
You will inevitably find yourself in class and hear the teacher ask to form a group with your classmates. Does this thought make you cringe? Yeah, me too. I find it terrifying having to turn around and say hi. And as crazy as it sounds to you extroverts, it actually is that difficult for some of us. The ridiculous fear of rejection and the awkwardness make this simple process a struggle. But you will have to do it so the best solution is to just DO IT. Remember that there is no reason for the person next to you to laugh at you and reject you, and they are probably not thinking about this as much as you are. So do it, and the more you get used to it, the easier it will get. It is great practice for parties and other social events where you’ll be able to test your newfound social skills!
3- Join an association
Simple: it’s a great way to meet people with the same interests as you. You’ll be doing what you love and it’ll be natural to build relationships with others. In most campuses there are various associations, sports team, clubs, Greek life, and so on. You are sure to find your fit and you might even find friends for life!
4- Yes, you should go to that party!
You’ve finally made some friends, and you get invited to a party. Go. You probably have plenty of excuses not to: even if you start feeling the urge to just stay in, fight it. Get motivated, dress up and walk out the door. I have missed many parties – and I regretted it – because of that last minute feeling, and I have sometimes lost the opportunity to have a different kind of fun. You never know where this step out the door can take you.
5- Take that Me-time!
Now of course, I am not telling you to ditch your habits and go out every night. It is okay to have your moments, even in college. Being an introvert does not mean you hate people, or that something is wrong with you. Get comfortable and watch that show (it feels even better after you’ve enjoyed a crazy night out with your friends)! It allows you to recharge your batteries and find yourself again; there is nothing better than a night in when you’ve been going out and you’re ready to take a break.
Good luck!
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Bisous,
Brigitte