Why You Shouldn’t Go to Dinner on Your First Date; A College Guy’s Perspective

*From a College Guy’s Perspective*

Girls, you want to feel a deep connection, and that begins and ends with good communication. And guys also need to become familiar with what makes you happy, outside of the bedroom.
 

Communication is a fundamental component of relationships, however communication can often be awkward and forced on first dates.
 
Depending on the date activity, there can be a lot of uncomfortable pauses in conversation and looking someone in the eye whom you don’t know well, but find attractive, can be difficult. This is why I do not recommend a sit down meal of any sort. Dinner? No. Simple coffee date? Don’t do it. Going for a smoothie? Not so much…

First date conversations are rarely smooth and carefree but they can be made easier when you and your date go to a place that has a busier, livelier atmosphere.  Here’s a list of five first date ideas that reduce the need for eye contact and will ultimately save you from anxiety of first date awkwardness.
 
 
5. Festival/Farmer’s Market

 
Living in San Francisco/bay area is a blessing. There are plenty of different cultures to experience and incredible festivals and events. Get some exercise by walking around and tasting different foods! With lots of walking and taste testing, minimal eye contact is required and any awkward pauses in conversation will seem less uncomfortable with the different activities to take part in at a festival.
 
San Francisco’s Off-the-Grid and the Gilroy Garlic Festival are great places to start -have a laugh while tasting how bizarre garlic flavored ice cream is! And SF’s St. Patty’s Day Festival is around the corner…
 
4. Ball Game
 

AT&T Park is one of the most beautiful stadiums in baseball. You don’t have to be a sports fan to enjoy a good time at AT&T. Your eyes can be fixated on the playing field while you chat about various things. And, if there are any pauses in conversation, you have something else to focus on rather than how awkward the silence is (the Giants of course!).

3. Mini Golf
 
It’s an ideal date because you can laugh at how bad each other are at golfing; and ladies, if you do a good job of playing it off, you can easily get the guy to teach you how to improve your putting skills.
 
Better yet, if you are the next coming of Annika Sorenstam, it allows the guy to easily laugh at himself about being beat. Again eye contact is limited while making room for physical contact –the best of both worlds. 

2. Bowling
 
Bowling is a great first date because no matter how good or bad one may be at bowling it makes for great and seemingly meaningless (it’s actually the contrary) conversation that allows the date to flow smoothly. Eye contact is limited because the focus is on knocking down those pins and conversations have natural pauses with each party going up to bowl. Therefore there is limited worrying about keeping up continuous conversation.

 
1. Ice Skating
 
I may be a bit biased on this one because hockey is my favorite sport and nothing is more fun than teaching a lovely gal how to skate, but this is the best and one of the least awkward first dates!
 
 Not only is it another date where eye contact is limited but conversation lulls can be easily filled with a funny fall or playfully teasing. The best part about an ice skating date is that it is an easy and totally comfortable way to get some physical contact in on the first date. Also, the whole pressure of  “when do I hold his hand?” goes away with ice skating, because it’s natural to hold hands while skating, especially if either party isn’t an experienced skater. In the rare case that both know how to skate, than great! Immediately something in common to talk about!

 
 
Did you find these first dates helpful? Let Andy know if you take used his advice and how it went for you!
 
He can be reached on twitter: @AndyBensch and by email abensch@mail.sfsu.edu