Funny Words From Funny Ladies

Most of my all-time favorite words come from three of America’s funniest ladies, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Lena Dunaham–who also happen to be pretty darn smart. I’ve read their books (Yes, Please by Amy Poehler, Bossypants by Tina Fey, and Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham are 3 of approximately 5 non-fiction books I’ve ever made it through), and **low key** felt pretty inspired and pretty d*mn good about myself after I finished them. Because I think that these three women are fanfreakingtastic and because your professors are actually starting to drag you down with homework and class and long complicated sentences, I’ve compiled 9 of my favorite funny lady quotes. You’re welcome, you awesome human.

“There is no age-appropriate behavior.” –Lena Dunham

It’s been said that growing old is mandatory, but growing up isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with taking on new responsibilities, taking charge, or taking a nap in the middle of the day. Do what you want, as long as it’s legal. :) 

“Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on a treadmill, and it wasn’t even on.” –Amy Poehler

It’s true.  Don’t get comfortable, don’t settle, and don’t take for granted your ability to get over a hangover in less than 12 hours. This youth is fleeting.  But seriously, take chances now while you can. Nothing we have right now is permanent, which leaves us so much room for explorations and mistakes and huge successes that we might never know were possible. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve already had a few close calls on exercise equipment at age 21. Better get a move on.

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” –Tina Fey

For some reason, a lot of college girls don’t maintain this philosophy. Aren’t we all in this together? Why are we not telling that girl walking into the caf that she still has toilet paper on her shoe? We’re all in this together ladies, so let’s start acting like it.

“It’s really liberating to say no to shit you hate.” –Lena Dunham

Personally, it took me a really long time to figure this one out. Particularly, how to tell the difference between toughening up and doing the things you have to do, and the things you do by free will that make you utterly miserable. The fact of the matter is, if that awful terrible thing isn’t doing anything to improve your life or the life of those important to you, YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT AWFUL TERRIBLE THING. Embrace your sweet freedom. ‘Merica.

“Ignore what other people thing. Most people aren’t even paying attention to you.” –Amy Poehler

If it doesn’t personally bother you, it sure as crap shouldn’t matter if it bothers someone else. Do your own thing and do it shamelessly.

“Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again.” -Amy Poehler

This was my favorite quote out of all three fantastic books, because it is so true and so scarce. Women are constantly striving to be just like each other, while at the same time trying to be themselves– a recipe for absolutely nothing. No progress, no good, just replication. If you see a girl who is jogging in between her 4 classes and dinner and you just want to watch Netflix/would rather eat garbage than go jogging, THAT IS OKAY. Good for her! Not for you. Amy preaches it here, and I’m swaying along with the choir.

“Sleep can completely change your entire outlook on life.” –Amy Poehler

8 hours of sleep: *Smiles at people walking to class* *Takes out trash for roommate* *Laughs at normal jokes* *Accomplishes life’s daily tasks and still has energy to walk up stairs*

3 hours of  sleep: *Constant face of sadness* *Thinks she will never graduate and will be forced to walk dogs for a living* *Cries for no reason* *Just plain sucks*

As a college student, you probably know this. If you don’t, you’ll probably find out very soon.

“Drunk emotions aren’t real emotions.” –Lena Dunham

Some people say that drunk talk is true talk, but I’m with my girl Lena on this one. When I’ve had a few I’ve been friends with some people I strongly dislike and a person everyone should strongly dislike to the people I love most.

I have also tried to make pizza rolls by putting them on a cookie sheet and then placing them back in the freezer, therefore, the notion of my drunk emotions being rational is just not okay with me.

“B*tches get stuff done.” -Tina Fey

Period. End of story. Boom.

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