INTRODUCTION
So, the LGBTQ+ community has a vast variety of words, phrases and acronyms. This article is my attempt at laying it all out for those who are curious or confused. Now, while I am part of the community, I would not call myself an expert. I am simply going to try to give a basic understanding of things from my knowledge of it, but be aware that in many areas of the LGBTQ+ community, the meaning of something is determined by the person identifying with it. There may be a common ground, but overall to truly understand you need to talk with members of the community.
In general, try to use this as a starting point. Because I understand that many things mean different things to different people, and that time plays a role in affecting vocabulary as well. I am attempting to provide a starting point, but once again I am in no way an expert. To really understand the community or how someone feels is best done by talking with that individual or multiple people within this community.
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THE ACRONYM
First, I will start with explaining the acronyms that make up the identifier for this community. I tried to get the most common and also the most accurate acronym as of this date, but I accept the fact that I could be off by a few letters.
L: Lesbian – a woman attracted to a woman.
G: Gay – a man attracted to a man.
B: Bisexual – an individual who is attracted to two or more genders.
T: Transgender – an individual who identifies as something other than what they are assigned at birth. For example, a trans man is a man who was most likely originally assigned with the female gender.
Q: Queer – Umbrella term for anyone who does not identify as straight and/or cisgender. Some use it to identify with, however it was originally a slur towards those in the community so not everyone will use it.
Q: Questioning – Someone in the community who may not know what they fully identify with, but know they are not cis or straight.
I: Intersex – Someone who is biologically intersex, that is some combination or mix of male and female, usually along a spectrum of how they present.
A: Asexual – an individual who does not feel sexual attraction towards another individual. This does not mean you can’t form romantic relationships though. For example, a person can identify as asexual and gay.
P: Pansexual – an individual who is attracted to all genders, usually because they focus more on who the person is rather than their gender or sex.
A: Aromantic – an individual who does not feel romantic attraction towards another individual. This does not mean they can’t form close relationships nor does this mean that they are also asexual.
2S: 2 Spirit – an individual who identifies as having more than one spirit within them, for example the spirit of both a man and woman. Used by those of Indigenous culture especially in regarding fulfilling the role of the third gender within their community. Understand that every Indigenous nation is different and to fully understand to talk to someone who either identifies as 2 Spirit or to learn about the culture of different nations.
There is a belief that one of the ‘A’s in the acronym stands for ally but this is not the case since the acronym stands for those in the community rather than those just supporting the community.
One of the ‘A’s could also stand for agender as well, as that would usually be exchanged with the aromantic since the romantic spectrum is a newer identifier than the sexual or gender one.
The ‘P’ in the acronym can also be exchanged with polysexual as people also identify with that in the community, though I believe that the ‘P’ usually stands for pansexual.
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VOCABULARY
I am in no way able to name it all but I’ll try to get the most common or the ones I have come across a lot.
Ally: Typically a cisgender and straight person who supports and respects the members of the community.
Cis/cisgender: the gender and biological sex align for an individual. The opposite of transgender. For example, a woman who identifies as a woman and was assigned female at birth. Cis is the adjective that describes this and sometimes can be used alone or added to male or female for clarification.
AFAB: Assigned female at birth
AMAB: Assigned male at birth
Biological Sex: The medical term used to describe the hormonal, chromosomal, and anatomical characteristics that are used to label an individual as female or male or intersex. Can also be found as “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.”
Gender Binary: The idea that there are only two genders.
Gender Norms: The typical stereotypes or ideas society and/or most people have about the binary genders that determine how a person should act based on the female or male sex.
Gender Identity: How someone identifies with their internal perception of their gender. Can align closely with the traditional gender binary or it does not need to align with the gender binary.
Trans/transgender: Someone who identifies with a gender different from the one assigned at birth. Trans is an adjective and is usually added on to male and female to express their identity, though trans can sometimes be used alone when describing a person.
FtM/F2M: Abbreviation of female to male.
MtF/M2F: Abbreviation of male to female.
Third Gender: a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but rather a gender outside the gender binary. This can also be used by societies who recognize the existence of 3 or more genders. It can mean different things to different people.
Gender Nonconforming: people who do not follow or the concept of not following other people’s ideas or stereotypes about how they should look or act based on the female or male sex.
Pronouns/Prefered Pronouns (PP)/Prefered Gender Pronouns (PGP): The way someone wishes to be preferred. Examples are she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, he/him/his, She/They, He/They, etc. It/Its may also be someone’s preferred pronouns. Someone may also prefer neopronouns.
Neopronouns: Nontraditional pronouns that people use to refer to themselves because these pronouns fit better than the traditional ones. Examples include ze/zem, ze/zir, xe/xem, fae/faer, etc.
Mx: A gender neutral form of Mr. or Mrs/Miss; pronounced like ‘mix’.
Feminine-Presenting: An adjective for someone who prefers to express their gender in a more feminine way. Different from gender. You could be a feminine-presenting man.
Femme: Someone who identifies as feminine as either mentally, physically, and/or emotionally. Does not have to identify as female.
Masculine-Presenting: An adjective for someone who prefers to express their gender in a more masculine way. Different from gender. You can be a masculine-presenting woman.
Masc: Someone who identifies as masculine as either mentally, physically, and/or emotionally. Does not have to identify as male.
Androgynous/Androgyny: Someone who prefers or identifies with a mixture/combined elements of both femininity and masculinity. Is sometimes used in place of intersex usually in the form of androgyne.
Transition/Transitioning: The process in which a trans person may be changing aspects of themselves to better align their self identified gender.
Passing: The term used to refer to trans people who are accepted as or able to “pass” as a member of their self-identified gender, sometimes to the point people don’t realize they are trans without knowing that first. (Just to be clear, an individual does not need to reach a level of passing to be recognized as their self-identified gender. It is up to the individual how they want to look and what they identify with).
Drag: The exaggerated performance of masculinity, femininity, or any other forms of gender expression. Can be performed by anyone.
Drag Queen: A person who performs as exaggerated femininity. While usually seen done by men, it can also be done by women or non-binary/third gender, trans or cisgendered.
Drag King: A person who performs as exaggerated masculinity. Typically done by women, it can also be done by men or non-binary/third gender, trans or cisgendered.
Coming out: The process of when a person begins to accept and/or identifies with one’s sexuality and/or gender identity. And/Or, the process by which a person shares their identity and/or sexuality with others.
Outing: involuntary or unwanted disclosure of a person’s sexuality and/or gender identity to others.
WLW: woman-loving woman
MLM: man-loving man
Sexual Orientation: Typically used to describe who someone is attracted to sexually/physically and/or emotionally and spiritually. Can be separate from romantic orientation.
Sexual Preference: What someone likes to participate in sexually, not referring to gender attraction.
Sexual Attraction: Described as how much a person feels or wants to engage in physically intimate behavior. This can be very little to none to a lot. Can be separate from romantic attraction.
Sex Stance: Refers to how an individual feel about sexual acts
Sex Repulsed/Sex Negative: Typically refers to people on the asexual spectrum (though not all asexuals are sex repulsed) who are uncomfortable, disgusted, and/or generally do not like the idea of any sexual activity. What is considered a sexual act is up to the individual. For example, kissing on the lips may or may not be considered a sexual act. This is also not exclusive to those who identify on the asexual spectrum.
Sex Neutral/Sex Indifferent: Can be found on the asexual spectrum and can be attributed to greysexual, it is someone who while isn’t repulsed by sex also does not actively seek it out. They may still partake in sexual activity but it is not something that is a large factor when forming a relationship. This is not exclusive to those who identify on the asexual spectrum.
Sex Favorable/Sex Positive: Refers to someone who feels positive feelings and is favorable towards and/or enjoys sexual acts, or who feel positive and favoritable towards the concept of sexual interaction. It is usually used within the asexual community but it is not exclusive to those on the asexual spectrum.
Sex Ambivalent/Sex Conflicted: Refers to when someone has mixed or complicated feelings regarding the act or concept of sexual interactions. It is usually used within the asexual community but it is not exclusive to those on the asexual spectrum.
Romantic Orientation: Typically used to describe who someone is attracted to emotionally/romantically and/or physically. Can be separate from sexual orientation.
Romantic Attraction: Described as how much a person feels or wants to develop a more romantic vs platonic relationship. This can be very little to none to a lot. Can be separate from sexual attraction.
Romance Stance: Refers to how an individual feels about romantic acts. While newer to the community than the sexual stance, this is still just as valid.
Intimacy/Intimate relationship: Usually seen as a sexual and/or romantic component within relationships, however intimacy can be found in non-sexual and non-romantic relationships as well. Intimacy is determined by those experiencing it.
QPR/Queer Platonic Relationship: A significant relationship those on the aromantic spectrum and/or the asexual spectrum may use when describing their relationship. It typically has no set definition other than what those in the relationship describe it as, but in simple terms can be seen as more than friends but never classified as romantic. However it is just as significant as a romantic relationship.
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SEXUALITIES, IDENTITIES, AND ROMANTIC ORIENTATIONS
I am now going to attempt to list out a large number of sexual/romantic orientations as well as gender identities. I am in no way going to come close to listing them all, but I shall try.
Straight: Someone who identifies as a binary gender (man or woman) and is attracted to the opposite binary gender. While not necessarily a label defining the LGBTQ+ community, it is still important because this is not exclusive to cisgendered people. A trans man could be attracted only to women (which could include trans women) and thus could identify as straight.
Gay: male attracted to a male either romantically, sexually, emotionally, and/or spiritually. This includes trans men as they are men.
Lesbian: female attracted to female either romantically, sexually, emotionally, and/or spiritually. This includes trans women as they are women.
Bisexual: Someone attracted to two or more genders. Usually thought to be just attracted to men and women, but this is not always the case.
Pansexual: Someone attracted to all genders and/or attracted more to the person/personality than the identified gender.
Asexual: Someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Can be referred to as a spectrum/umbrella term or by itself as an identity. The asexual spectrum can include demisexual, graysexual, and other identities that experience some variety of little to no sexual attraction.
Demisexual: someone who feels little or no sexual attraction towards someone until a strong romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual connection is formed with that someone.
Graysexual/Greysexual: a person who is largely asexual but may still occasionally partake in sexual acts and enjoy them, or have feelings of sexual attraction on rare occasion. However, a sexual relationship may still not be a factor when forming relationships.
Abrosexual: Describes a person who’s sexuality is always changing or is fluid. For example, the person may be gay one day, asexual the next, and then lesbian after that.
Polysexual/Polyamorous: an individual who wants and desires/has an orientation towards having ethical, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships.
Allosexual/alloromatic/allo: Someone who does not identify with the asexual and aromantic spectrum; they feel sexual (allosexual) and romantic (alloromantic) attractions. Will sometimes be shortened to allo. Used more as an adjective to describe those not on the asexual or aromantic spectrum, though someone can choose to use it to describe their identity as well. Similar to how straight is not a label that defines the community but can still apply to those in the community, allo- is also not really a label used to define those in the community. However, this does not make it exclusive to allies and can be used as an identity if the person wishes.
Aromantic: Someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction. Can be referred to as a spectrum/umbrella term or by itself as an identity. The aromantic spectrum can include demiromantic, grayromantic, cupioromantic, and others that experience some variety of little to no sexual attraction.
Demiromantic: Someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction towards someone until a strong sexual/physical, emotional, and/or spiritual connection is formed with that someone.
Grayromantic/Greyromantic: a person who is largely aromantic but may still occasionally partake in romantic acts or have a feeling of romantic attraction on occasion, but it is not necessarily something they prioritize especially when forming relationships.
Transgender: an individual who identifies as something other than what they are assigned at birth. For example, a tranman is a man who was most likely originally assigned with the female gender.
Genderqueer: a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman. It can also be used as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities such as non-binary, gender fluid, bigender, agender, ect.
Non-Binary: Someone who does not identify with the typical gender binary of male and female. Can be used as an umbrella term at times when describing genders outside the gender binary.
Agender: Someone who does not identify with or very identifies very little with traditional gender views. Or they have no alignment with male or female, or they do not identify with a gender/exist without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois or genderless.
Neutrois: A gender identity where someone is indifferent towards gender or may even identify as genderless.
Transmasculine/Transmasc/Masc: Someone who identifies as masculine as either mentally, physically, and/or emotionally. Does not have to identify as male.
Transfeminine/Transfemme/Femme: Someone who identifies as feminine as either mentally, physically, and/or emotionally. Does not have to identify as female.
Bigender: Someone who identifies with more than one gender. Can be seen as just male and female, but it is any one who identifies with more than one gender with any gender identity.
Gender Fluid: Someone who tends to flow between genders/does not identify with just one gender all the time.
Demigender: Someone who only identifies as a gender part of the time and may identify with another gender at a different time. For example demigirl identify with female most of the time but may also identify with a different gender (usually a non-binary one but that may not always be the case). Same goes for demiboy, and demigender can sometimes be used to describe those who mainly identify with non-binary genders but sometimes identify as another gender, though this is not always the case.
Demiboy: Someone who identifies with being a man/male/boy and/or masculine identity, and may also identify with another gender.
Demigirl: Someone who identifies with being a woman/female/girl and/or feminine identity, and may also identify with another gender.
2 Spirit: an individual who identifies as having more than one spirit within them, for example the spirit of both a man and woman. Used by those of Indigenous culture especially in regarding fulfilling the role of the third gender within their community. Understand that every Indigenous nation is different and to fully understand to talk to someone who either identifies as 2 Spirit or to learn about the culture of different nations.
Questioning: Someone in the community who may not know what they fully identify with, but know they are not cis or straight.
Please keep in mind that many people within the community can identify with as many or as few labels as they wish. It is however they wish to describe their identity.
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Once again I would like to remind those of you who took the time to read through this that I am not an expert in the community nor am I the voice of it. I am simply trying to give a starting point and I fully accept the fact that I may have gotten something incorrect or not explained it the way someone who identifies as that something may explain it. This is a starting point, not a law.
If you want to understand more you can talk to those in the community or try to do some research. I will link some places I turned to in an attempt to get the best definitions for you though a lot of this was spawned from my understanding of it.
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Resources:
Members of the LGBTQIA+ community
https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Sex_Stances
https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Romance_Stances