During the time that we are in now there is so much going on. From the recent killings of George Floyd, and Ahamud Arbery. Not to mention the pandemic that is going on right now, many people are panicking. Is the world coming to an end? Is God about to return? I am pretty sure you have scrolled past at least one of those comments on Facebook, or YouTube about how you need to be preparing for the Lord’s return.   Â
However, I am here to tell you IT IS OKAY. You can go back to binge watching your favorite T.V. show. This is a time where a lot of things are being exposed. I believe that we all have been too comfortable. Too comfortable with police killings, too comfortable with racism, and too comfortable with a system that oppresses black, and brown people. This system is being exposed and a new one is being set up and into place. How? You may suggest… because people are angry and doing something with that anger. I cannot tell you the countless number of people that I have seen of different races posting and spreading awareness about what we can do to make this world a better place. Whether it be sharing a video about what #blacklivesmatter stands for, how to understand white privilege, signing petitions, or educating themselves on social issues. Regardless of what people are doing, the majority of people are doing something.Â
We see people protest. We see people sharing funny graphics to keep people in high spirits. We see people donating water to protesters. I see that we all are on different assignments with the same goal which is to bring about change. This is a concept that I didn’t quite understand that God had to break down to me. In other words, with everything I had seen on social media from people with different opinions from me, the videos of unarmed black men being killed, and the protest taking place worldwide I was overcome with so many emotions. I had no energy but to soak in that. I felt guilty for still trying to brand ideas for the vision God had given me. Little do I know that would be the very tool I used to turn a gear in the system. God spoke to me and helped me to understand better what he was doing. He said, “Mesi that very gift that I have given you to write and speak use it to bring about change”. Remind you I had just got on social media saying “If you’re going to talk about it be about it”. It’s funny how God sometimes make you eat your own words. God was not calling me to the frontline to protest like I saw other doings. He showed me where he wanted me planted in this season. It touched the pride in my heart, because I had just finished talking down on others saying, “They posting on social media, but they need to be protesting”. I know that may seem like incorrect grammar but that’s the country in me. However, my own statement humbled me to know that is why you do not speak out of the moment because that same word you speak you will be tested on. The same call to action I wanted others to have was different from what God was telling me to do. It wasn’t that in the next season God would not call me out there to protest, but he was saying whether you are on the front line or behind a computer you still have a purpose. Spiritually I had to understand that we all have different positions we are called too. We need a writer. We need a speaker. We need a business manager. We need someone to organize, and we should not beat someone up for not doing what we think is “enough” or force them into doing what we believe is “enough”. This is a tough time for all of us. This can be draining and triggering for so many including myself however, being gentle with yourself is needed. If you need a vacation it is okay. If you need to unplug from social media it is okay. If you cannot finish watching that series you started to educate yourself on world affairs. It is okay. A lot of us are getting burned out in this season, because we are trying to do it in our own strength. We are dedicating 100 plus hours to the cause and 1 hour to our care to keep us motivated for the cause. This is something God convicted me on this morning. I woke up feeling good, but I still felt a burden on my heart. I looked myself straight in the mirror, and said “I am not a STRONG BLACK woman”. I want to completely allow God to strip me of that mindset because it is dangerous. We reiterate a stereotype of us being superwoman, and superman when we cannot save everyone. When we cannot bear our own emotions, and ownself at times. Sometimes the first one we need to save is ourselves. I am tired of being strong. I am tired of trying to have it all together. It is okay to cry, be weak, and not have it all together. So, in the midst of everything going on I pray that you would ask yourself are you okay? If the answer is no take then my next statement is for you. If your answer is yes then my statement is STILL for you…take a break and rest Psalms 91:1 “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High WILL find rest in the shadow of the almighty”. This means that those who live in the Spirit of God through praying, worshiping, telling God that I need him to be strong for me, being honest with him about my needs, and coming to him will grant me rest. This means that it may feel like I should be stressing out about my life, but because I live in his home, in his spirit I will be exempt from what I should be feeling. We have to make a decision. What is it that we are going to do in our life to make room for this passion to speak up for individuals being taken advantage of and killed?, how can I do this without sacrificing my mental health? , and understanding I need to rest in the Lord to be filled up to make change. So, I pray that this post blesses you to understand 1. We are all called to different positions, 2. Do not judge someone, because they do not have the same position as you, 3. It is okay to not be strong. It is okay to feel what you are feeling and 4. Take care of your mental health. The number one way is to pray. I know we get weak and do not feel like praying and sometimes we have to feel that and let the Holy Spirit move on our behalf. As we continue to fight for change make sure you are placing your mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing in a position that allows you to do so. God bless you!Â