Drowning is my biggest fear
That feeling of your lungs filling with water and not being able to breathe properly strikes me as particularly undesirable
Most people think that you will drown underwater and that is a possibility
However, I feel that you are more likely to drown first in your own mind before you ever do in water
The supposedly safe space of your mind can become dangerous quickly
Just as oceans produce currents that are strong and swift enough to entangle a person to their very downfall
The human mind operates in the same manner
Our negative thoughts are like currents gripping our capacity to see the good and live life with peace
Our minds are as large as great bodies of water that seem never-ending and impossible to control
To the same extent in which water overtakes the lungs as one is drowning, our thoughts can overwhelm our being
Struggling between wanting more and doing better or being proud of myself for the growth I’ve accomplished… I think
I think about what I could’ve said or could’ve done differently
How I could’ve shown up more for myself in the past… why I gave someone who didn’t care about me my absolute last… I think
About how I’m being perceived by people whose opinions heavily affect my well-being but don’t really matter
About how my “perfect” life didn’t go exactly how I planned
About the dirty little secrets, I’ll take to my grave and how someday I’ll be seen as more than a strong girl who’s dealt with her pain… I think
Drowning is my biggest fear You can drown in water but the mind is deeper than any ocean you could ever swim in