As this year comes to an end all I can do is thank the man above for allowing me to still be alive. This year my faith was tested spiritually and mentally. However, even in the darkest moments I am thankful that I am able to live to tell the story and share the wisdom I learned from every test. As we go into the year of 2020, I see so many of the Instagram and Twitter gurus tweeting and posting “new year, new me” or “This is a new season”. However, during my devotion time what I believe I heard was just because it’s a new year does not mean that it is a new season. No this is not me trying to be Negative Nancy however, we have to be realistic. How is this a new season for you if you are constantly gossiping about people, hanging with the same crowd that compromises who you are, or not committed to going through the process of healing. The new season can start any day we make up our mind and not just for the new year. This is also encouragement for someone who may not feel like they are about to enter a new season due to the loss of a loved one or anything else that may have occurred in their life. It is okay. Do not compare your walk or life to anyone else. This is social media, and we all can paint any picture we want. Healing is a process not an overnight job. God has you right where he wants you and healing is in him. Yes, I am thankful that God is blessing me to see another year however, I am fully aware there are changes in my life that he needs me to make in order to help him. As I allow the Holy Spirit to guide my inner thoughts and spend more time with God it will be easier for me to let go instead of trying to heal myself as I have tried to do this year.
This year I had the opportunity to travel out of the country to Africa and during this trip I learned the importance of knowing God as my father and not just a higher power. This was one of my biggest lessons for the year. When we look at him solely as a higher power instead of our father. I did not know that I was not allowing myself to be his daughter which means allowing him to take care of me, correct me, and be more than our physical fathers on earth can be. I had to also learn how to be a daughter which means be vulnerable and not try to do everything on my own. But now going into 2020 it will be easier to let him guide my steps due to him proving himself to me over and over again how much he loves me, yearns for me, and wants what is in my best interest even if it goes against my own will for myself.
Another big lesson I learned this year is the love God has for me. What keeps people from believing in God or coming to Christ is this misconception that they have to be perfect, and they do not understand the love God has for us as his sons, and daughters. God is not human. He does not love conditionally like we do, but he loves us unconditionally. This means no matter what we say, or do he is always waiting for us, his children with open arms. How do I know this? Because I was just like you and find myself struggling every now and then. Every time I messed up and felt guilty or ashamed, he would wake me up countless hours of the night to pray, talk, and he would constantly tug on my spirit to get into his presence. The enemy would always try to make me feel less than however, Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. I wouldn’t even feel right not giving him the time he deserved. So, this is for the person who is unsure about seeking God this year. Do not be so concerned about what you have to give up. God will replace it with something bigger and better. He is not expecting us to be perfect but be willing to be made well. Once I grasp that concept, I started becoming very kind and gentle with myself instead of always condemning myself.
As we count down less than 12 hours until the new year, I charge you to journal about where you are currently at. Be honest with yourself. Romans 12:3 “Do not think you are better than you really are, be honest in your evaluation of yourself, measuring yourself by the grace God has given us”. If you are broken say that. If you are anxious about the new year say that. If you are not where you want to be say that. But do not just lie in your current season. Come up with a plan to guide you to get where you need to be. Saying you want to be spiritually, mentally, and financially healthy is great but analyze what is causing you to not be that way and how you plan to get where you need to be. Ask the Holy Spirit for direction as it pertains to the vision for your life this year.
Writing has always been a major part of my life. It is one of the ways I express myself and my emotions the most and to God. If you struggle with using your voice or getting your thoughts and ideas together get you a journal and a planner. Write the vision and make it plain. As we enter into the new year, I am sending you love, light, and blessings. We give all praise to the man above. Hello and cheers to 2020!
– Mesi Motivates, December 31, 2019