Toxic relationships or toxic people are the dark sides of dating. I know TOO well what it’s like to be
in a toxic relationship. The first step to transitioning is identifying whether you were in a toxic
relationship. The term toxic is often overused and incorrectly used in reference to relationships.
In my opinion, a toxic relationship is more than just a relationship that didn´t work out or your
least favorite relationship. It´s deeper than just two imperfect and/or very different people trying
to make a relationship work. More importantly, IT IS NOT a toxic relationship if ONE of you
were toxic and the other isn´t (that´s the difference between a toxic person and a relationship). A
toxic relationship can be described as an unhealthy relationship in which BOTH people
intentionally or unintentionally destroy the other or BOTH people entertain the bad qualities of a
relationship. Bad qualities include lack of communication, ineffective communication, lying,
cheating, manipulating, disrespecting, deceiving, jealousy, and having no trust. You cannot build
a healthy relationship with bad qualities. Respectfully, each one is grounds for termination, sis!
In regards to it being unhealthy, a toxic relationship can begin to manifest in your health and
you´ll notice actual changes in/with your body the longer you stay in it. You´ll notice bad habits
about yourself that are a direct result of the relationship you´re in. For example, I am a person
that never had an issue voicing my opinion about my feelings. In my relationship, I noticed I
would dismiss my own feelings to avoid an argument and try to keep the other person happy. I
did this because he would disregard my feelings by telling me I overreact, I’m too dramatic, and
I´m argumentative. I would start to second guess and question my own feelings eventually
sweeping them under the rug so he would not think these things of me. What made us BOTH
toxic was 1) Your significant other should ever disregard or downplay your feelings and 2) You
should never silence yourself or dismiss your own feelings to keep the ¨peace¨ or stay in the
other person´s good graces. Nothing good comes from a toxic relationship except remembering
your self-worth and leaving the relationship. Trust me, there is hope. Working on yourself and
building yourself back up will get you back on track and you´ll be ready for the transition into a
healthy and prosperous relationship. Read Part 2 for more!
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Savannah chapter.