November is a beautiful fall month that is home for a lot of important events: my brother’s birthday, Thanksgiving, and National Diabetes Awareness Month. Specifically, Nov. 14 is World Diabetes Day.Â
For as shy as I can be, having type one diabetes is the one thing I simply refuse to be shy about. I grew up with changing insets every three to four days and checking my blood sugar by poking myself to get a small drop of blood. My credentials to talk about my experience with type one diabetes is my 18 and a half years of experience, since being diagnosed when I was six months old.Â
Now, considering I was not quite cognitively aware of the world around me and the idea that I was a person that could hold memories, what I know of my diagnosis comes from stories my parents have told me. Usually, this story is told over and over upon my request, and each time I think I learn something new.Â
The days leading up to my diagnosis, I was a sick baby, in terms of throwing up food and crying constantly. To make a long story short, one night, my mom had mother’s intuition and noticed that I was struggling to breathe and wide awake in the middle of the night. So, to the hospital I went before being rushed to another hospital in Syracuse so I could get treatment. Apparently, being six months old means the needles at my local hospital for insulin would go right through my body, and I needed smaller needles to be treated properly. My pancreas was quitting, going on strike, however, you want to say that my pancreas (organ in the body) was no longer producing insulin (hormone that regulates blood glucose levels in the body).Â
Now the journey begins, more for my parents, until I was old enough to walk and talk. My parents believed in raising me with the principle of being like any other kid, just the added aspect of extra healthcare. Easy to state, difficult to believe, especially as I entered pre-school and elementary school. When I became aware that having a small box attached to your hip, that enjoys beeping when your blood sugar levels fluctuate, that you don’t have enough skills to take care of your health at five years old and require an aid, was not like the other kids in my class. So, I became more determined to take on bigger roles with my health and my involvement in it.Â
By the end of kindergarten, I could bolus without an adult checking my work and could check my blood sugar levels by poking my finger to get a drop of blood for the test strip and became more confident in feeling my symptoms of high blood sugar and low blood sugar (Hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia respectively if you want to be fancy). I even came up with the idea that my classmates could dance to the music that happened when my pump buzzed to alert me, so I felt special instead of a disruption. And elementary school went on without too much of another worry.Â
Middle school was a different beast. In the moment, I would’ve said that I was handling everything wonderfully and had very minimal problems. However, looking back, many of the issues I have with diabetes now are rooted in late middle school, early high school management and coping mechanisms. Hormones are all over the place in middle school, and the social scene is known for being a little brutal, and I was discovering how hormones have a huge impact on my blood sugar levels. I was hearing more “jokes” about diabetes and how eating too many Oreos causes diabetes and it’s a disease for “fat” people. Add to the equation, that my endocrinologist (specialized diabetes doctor) who had been with me since diagnosis had just retired, I was bouncing between different people with different advice for how to manage the craziness that was my diabetes, and I had to switch insulin pumps.Â
The goal for middle school was survive. The goal my parents had for me was to support me in keeping my blood sugar numbers in between 80 mg/dL and 180 mg/dL (U.S measurement unit for blood glucose). My blood sugar however enjoyed going from 40 mg/dL to 400 mg/dL and threw everything that I had learned about what happens when I eat, exercise, or just live my life out the window. Let me preface that diabetes is already pretty unpredictable when you don’t have hormones that are all over the place, adding that on and it results in a feeling that nothing you do is ever going to be right. It was here that I tried everything just to get by with as little damage to my physical and mental health as possible. As much as I don’t like to admit the constant ups and downs of my blood sugar numbers took a huge hit on my energy levels, gave me constant mood swings and other symptoms that I tried to hide and not take out on anyone. Sorry to my mom, dad and brother who were definitely victims of this stress being taken out on.Â
At the end of the day, I did survive middle and high school. Late high school, my blood sugar levels had stabilized, and I was finally seeing a consistent endocrinologist and on another new pump, that I’m still on to this day. I still love answering questions about type one diabetes and my experience with it (because every diabetic is different). However, not without a few scars, I still very much see the diabetic burnout creeping up on me and hiding in the shadows, and my struggle to eat and bolus for meals before I eat like I’m supposed to. I’m a work in progress, and I’m never going to be perfect. Some days my blood glucose graph will look like a heartbeat monitor graphs and some days it will look a little less dramatic with ups and downs. There’s only so little in my control when it comes to blood glucose numbers. What I can do is be proud of the progress I made and continue to make and use that as a blanket of comfort for the harder days.