I am huge on reflections in all forms. I’m a sucker for my Snapchat memories from years ago, and just a super nostalgic person in general. Also, this past weekend I was able to spend time with amazing ladies at the Women’s Overnight at the Mountain (Mt. Irenaeus). Part of our discussion led me to reflect on younger me and the child she was and has grown into today.
I thoroughly enjoy writing letters to my future self and thought it might be nice to write one back.Â
My dearest younger (past self) Ella,Â
I think there would be many things that would shock you about my current life in so many different aspects, it’s difficult to find a starting point to catch you up. For starters I think you would sob over what the diabetes tech we have now, it is just so much simpler to manage. Granted some of that ease might have come from aging into an older young adult. You also made it through middle and high school with lots of fun memories and made all the right decisions (even if you second guessed a lot of them). You also toured colleges and made the best decision for you and are now in your sophomore year of college at St. Bonaventure University. I think you would’ve hated being at a bigger school like Syracuse University. Adulthood is still a little scary, but you still have some time before that goes in full effect.Â
You’ve made lots of new friends who support you and your (sometimes) atrocious communication. You’re still a work in progress and love learning and growing just as much as always. In an odd way, I know you’re looking up to me, but I’m also looking up to you and the human you are. I admire your strength, your outgoingness, and your ability to be yourself no matter what. I used to tell my parents that “I go by myself” when crossing the street refusing to hold hands with my parents, not having enough of a conscience to realize that sometimes people judge a little kid babbling about their entire life story while waiting in the bank line.
Now I’m not saying a whole lot has changed, but I have adjusted the way I attack certain situations. I no longer chat with the people around me about my life story while we wait in line, and I think more about how I am perceived by others. I think there is a large part of me that wants to reconnect with the little me who was more outgoing and cared less about what others thought of her. I adore your ability to be you. I hope you never lose your kindness and belief that everything happens for a reason. It hasn’t happened yet, but practice makes perfect (so keep it up).
I hope you know that your intuition is usually right. No need to worry about finding a boyfriend, that all falls into place even if it isn’t exactly what you pictured in your head. It’s probably not even close to what you imagined your life to be like but know that you are more than happy with this fact and wouldn’t want to change a single thing.Â
Hope to chat soon! Lots of love,Â
Sophomore year of college, 19-year-old Ella <3 :)